you are viewing a single comment's thread.

view the rest of the comments →

[–]PassionateIntensity 40 insightful - 2 fun40 insightful - 1 fun41 insightful - 2 fun -  (2 children)

Have you ever read The Gift of Fear? Women become afraid based on their own experience and the experience of other women and that fear is COMPLETELY RATIONAL. Teaching women to ignore their own instincts and live in denial that the world is safe is what's dangerous. That's not "living in fear," that's being smart and cautious.

[–]squintypreyeyes[S] 18 insightful - 1 fun18 insightful - 0 fun19 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Women are taught to disproportionately fear certain situations, while being pressured to ignore their discomfort in others. For example, if someone in a friend group makes creepy comments towards me, I will probably be pressured to brush it off, not make a big deal, he didn't mean it like that, etc.

But if I say that I'm going to walk to the gas station at 2am to grab some energy drinks, something that would actually give me some enjoyment, maybe help me meet a deadline, everyone gasps and acts like I'm going on a suicide mission. I learn to feel afraid even though I've never had a bad experience.

[–]Feather 12 insightful - 1 fun12 insightful - 0 fun13 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I think this is a good point. I've thought a lot about it because I'm the type to go on a walk at 2AM to go get some energy drinks. I decided I am willing to put up with that risk profile. So far, I've been touched inappropriately zero times on those walks. I can't even count how many times I've been touched inappropriately by "friends" at gatherings.

I understand why some women wouldn't be comfortable with that risk profile though. A groper at a party is less likely to put you in mortal danger than a stranger who stalks you in the middle of the night. So even though the former is waaaay more statistically common, the latter has worse outcomes when it does happen.