About a year or 2 ago I got sucked down the trans-rabbit-hole. Someone had commented r/egg_irl under something completely unrelated and I wondered what it was as I liked the r/me_irl and I was expecting a stupid subreddit like r/breadstapledtotrees. So I started trolling through r/egg_irl and looking through some of the posts. I thought they were a bit funny so I subscribed to it.

Over the course of a week or 2 I was a frequent user. I was going through a really rough time in my life. I had just switched schools and didn’t have a lot of friends and people to talk to. The subreddit and coddling convinced me that all my depression and issues were because I was “born in the wrong body.” Taking advantage of perfectly normal traits like playing female characters in videogames sometimes and playing dress up in a fairy dress when I was a kid to convince me that I was transgender.

I fell for it hook, line and sinker. I began to use Reddit almost exclusively for trans related subs. I got hugboxxed in and eventually stumbled across r/transDIY. I had been convinced I had a ticking clock as to where the damage done to my body by testosterone would be irreversible and I would be a bearded man for my whole life.

It all fell into place. I could solve all my problems and be happy if I just took 100mg of Bicalutamide and 4mg of estradiol daily. Now being a fool with more money than I knew what to do with thanks to good financial habits I bought drugs from one of the recommended stores and a few weeks later, with no customs issues or anything I had a package at my door.

So I started taking them, and for about 2 weeks I felt better. It was around this time I heard about evil, bigoted TERFs. I scrolled through some of the subreddits. Namely r/gendercritical and r/itsafetish. They created a tiny seed of doubt and uncertainty in my ideas and convictions.

Anyways, after about 2 weeks my eyes turned yellow from jaundice. I went to my doctor and told her everything that was going on. She was horrified about how easy it was to just get these drugs. Now she sent me to get blood tested and I had elevated levels of some enzyme or something. Turns out I had liver toxicity. Nothing to worry about but I definitely shouldn’t be drugged up on theses. Especially not without close medical supervision.

So my plan now was to go get a recommendation from a therapist. I was lucky and didn’t get a “gender therapist” I got a serious real deal therapist. One who also works with murderers and pedophiles on weekdays and does just normal therapy on weekends. She along with the guidance of r/GC and r/IAF forced me to confront the fact that I wasn’t actually transgender and I was falsely attributing my issues to it and deluding myself into thinking I was. Along with a pile of other issues ranging from issues with my father to a serious pornography addiction and some anxiety and depression along with some heavy stress.

I went into it with the initial plan of making fun of TERF’s and getting a recommendation from a therapist. I can happily report now I have absolutely no desire to ever “transition” and I’m now free of any liver toxicity or pornography.

r/egg_irl and the other trans subreddits are a grooming tool for young people in hard places in their life, it offers them a perfect solution to their problems and all they need to do is take the magic cancer pill. It upsets me to think of the young people pouring in there every day who don’t have the support structures I do.