Many bisexuals I know (including myself) are willing to date trans people. So why pressure gays and lesbians?

submitted by dandeliondynasty from (self.GenderCritical)

I know a lot of bisexuals don’t want to date trans people, but some of us do (a higher % than gays or lesbians). Trans people I’ve dated who truly just want companionship & otherwise live and let live will happily date bisexuals (and have a decent size dating pool if they were smart & attractive). I feel like it’s a minority of trans who are too ugly and aggressive to get a date and trying to browbeat same sex attracted people into bed for validation. Trans incels are unfortunately the loudest part of the demographic. Thoughts?

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[–]Veneficca 43 insightful - 1 fun43 insightful - 0 fun44 insightful - 1 fun -  (5 children)

I'm bisexual. Trans people have pursued me thinking I'm a lesbian (I had a high-profile LTR with a woman) and then are disappointed when they find out I'm bi - it's not as validating. Others have told me angrily that I have no reason for turning them down since I'm bisexual.

I really dislike the idea that bisexuals are the natural sex partners for TIM. I like men and women, but why would that mean I'm attracted to a man in bad makeup who's grown small breasts and has a dick that can't get hard? Nothing about that is what turns me on in men or women.

I've also met so many trans whose bizarre ideas of being a man (transmen condescending to me as the little woman) or lesbian (transwomen thinking 2 women together are a giddy romance of bubble baths and lingerie) tell me they could never be a viable partner. I think in general, trans people tend to bring a lot of issues to the table that make them unattractive to people. Those I know in solid relationships are with partners they had before transitioning.

[–]SanityIsGC 15 insightful - 2 fun15 insightful - 1 fun16 insightful - 2 fun -  (1 child)

trans people tend to bring a lot of issues to the table that make them unattractive to people

Hammer meets nail.

[–]jet199 7 insightful - 2 fun7 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

http://imgur.com/a/B07liVX

[–]luckystar 12 insightful - 3 fun12 insightful - 2 fun13 insightful - 3 fun -  (1 child)

Others have told me angrily that I have no reason for turning them down since I'm bisexual.

TIL bisexual apparently literally means you have to have sex with every person, who knew?

[–]thrownawaycan 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

This was always the stereotype we faced from people, especially men. We're apparently always down for sex, multiple partners, anything. Sad to think we pushed back against it for so long only for the stereotypes to get codified as progressive.

[–]IamWomanHearMeRoar 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Not only that but why are you Forced to like them?? Shouldn’t you like them because you like them?? No one should be forced/pressured to like someone they do not like

[–]neveragain 37 insightful - 1 fun37 insightful - 0 fun38 insightful - 1 fun -  (4 children)

Because they want the validation.

If a lesbian is willing to date a trans woman, then it means that a trans woman is a woman. However, if a lesbian says "no, I will not date trans women, categorically", then it means that trans women are not real women. Which they're not. But they want the affirmation that they are biologically female, because it is homosexuality. Hence all the bullshit and coercion about girldick.

It may be that it's a small portion who are actually browbeating lesbians and gay men, but so many of them (even the ones happy to date bisexuals) go along with it anyway because to not go along with it also implicitly invalidates them.

That's all this boils down to. Validate me.

Edit: Also, it's not like the lesbian community is massive to begin with, and I think there's evidence enough that lesbian spaces have been completely invaded by "transbians". We may not know the actual number of trans women who are actively doing this invasion, but clearly it's enough to be a huge problem. Lesbians are not allowed to be lesbians anymore.

[–]VioletRemi 7 insightful - 3 fun7 insightful - 2 fun8 insightful - 3 fun -  (1 child)

it's not like the lesbian community is massive to begin with

I read somewhere that statistically in USA there 2-3 times more transwomen than lesbians. Not sure if it is true, as I haven't checked the sources.

[–]Archie 3 insightful - 2 fun3 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

That would be really surprising. Lesbians are 2-5% of any population. There are definitely not that many trans.

[–]womenopausal 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

IIRC, Lynne Harne of the Lesbian Rights Alliance mentioned in a speech that a meeting for lesbians in a private house was picketed by angry TIMs for being eXclUdEd. Might be on the WPUK youtube.

[–]IamWomanHearMeRoar 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Not only that but the trans people who do agree with us are often ridiculed and bullied, and are even called truscum

[–][deleted] 24 insightful - 1 fun24 insightful - 0 fun25 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

I think its about erasing and violating women's boundries too, I think they get a sadistic kick from it. It's why they want into female spaces, when they could just campaign to have their own spaces. I'm sure that there would be far less people claiming to be trans if we gave them third spaces etc.

[–]Jamiethiel2018 7 insightful - 2 fun7 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

Agreed whitness the pictures of TIMS with erections in women's toliets & changing rooms.

Rape culture.

[–]Lizzythelezzo 16 insightful - 4 fun16 insightful - 3 fun17 insightful - 4 fun -  (3 children)

I've met bisexual people who tried dating trans people, but most gave up on it because the mental health issues got too much and destroyed the relationship. TRAs think that people are just prejudiced about how people look but it's often because these people have Cluster B personality disorders and can't hold down a healthy relationship.

[–]StupidHappyPancakes 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

A ton of them are narcissists, and I would cut off my right leg before I would be in a relationship with a narcissist again. They are THAT soul-destroying to interact with long term.

[–]Badmammajamma 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Mental health professional here — you are right ion with the cluster B personality disorders.

[–]Lizzythelezzo 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Yeah, sadly I have never met a trans person who doesn't have significant Cluster B traits. I'm sure it's possible that some of them don't (especially the TIFs) but I just haven't encountered them yet.

[–]VioletRemi 9 insightful - 3 fun9 insightful - 2 fun10 insightful - 3 fun -  (1 child)

It was minority, but nowadays being trans is cool and very popularized, plus self-ID laws are so abusable, that many "new trans people" don't have any form of dysphoria at all (or just perverts/bandits abusing self-ID). I know a lot of 35-40+ years old transwomen and they are very unhappy with current generation and where tide is going. Plus A LOT of people who demanding all this are actually not even LGBT people, they are "allies".

[–][deleted] 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Yah I feel a bit sorry for actual/diagnosed/dysphoric transpeople who try to fit in, respect boundaries and ask and knock before entering a female space. Kicking down the door does not count as knocking :/

[–]Delia 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

Maybe they are simply harassers. Simply abusers. Back in the seventies I actually knew a fully transitioned person who said they were lesbian. They never forced their sexual needs on anyway and they certainly did not demand that natal lesbians have sex with them.

[–]IamWomanHearMeRoar 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

I agree with this! The trans people that I have met in person are very nice and respectful people! Some of the ones that I have met that are spewing the whole “if you don’t have sex with me you’re a terf!!” Are the ones online, and they’re normally non-passing pre-opt with facial hair and etc. I’ve even met some who’ve said that they were trans yet never planned on transitioning and were expecting lesbians to accept them like that

[–]IamWomanHearMeRoar 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I like your take on this. I’ve met nice trans people in real life who were like what you described - they could care less whether the person was bi or trans - they would be more than happy to date them. Most of the ones online I’ve found are more aggressive, in most cases are pre-opt/not passing, and are only interested in dating lesbians or gay men exclusively. I’ve always wondered why there were so many trans woman on lesbian subs instead of bisexual/pansexual subs or any other orientation where they would have a higher chance of finding a successful relationship

[–]fijupanda 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

they're seeking validation and to pass as a man or a woman, not actual romantic connection.

[–]Quixoticfutz 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Bisexuals dating them is not validating enough