Do you think the number of misogynist, antisocial, and just generally unpleasant men is increasing?

submitted by TheSeventhSense from self.GenderCritical

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[–]malleus_maleficarum 17 insightful - 3 fun17 insightful - 2 fun18 insightful - 3 fun -  (3 children)

Off the cuff: yes.

My current theory over drinks is that Mental Weakness is the cause. (Ask me next week and it may have changed.)

A few years ago, I was on my lunch break and was fixing something in my car's naughty bits in the parking lot. 2 mins tops. Total cakewalk. And a man in his twenties walked past and stopped with the weirdest look on his face (I work a tech job and was wearing a suit), and he asked me what I was doing. And I said, "Oh it's nothing serious. You know how it is, when cars get this old little things are constantly breaking." And he said, I shit you not, "I have no idea how to do that," and he got in his brand new car and drove away.

After that I started seeing weakness everywhere.

I'm at the age where my friends have teens. And ALL of these kids have anxiety and come off as very immature. Most of them are seeing therapists. Most of them are medicated.

None of these kids are in a rush to get a driver's license, they don't belong to any classes, teams or clubs based around physical activity or life skills. No chess, soccer, debate, baseball, shooting, shop, automotive repair, martial arts, volleyball, or 4-H... None! The only groups any of my friends' kids belong to are the kinds of organisations like TAQ+ clubs where people sit around nitpicking each other over minutiae and feeding the Purity Spiral

They don't have jobs. They don't have meaningful chores. They don't have social skills. They don't contribute in a visible way to their own quality of life or to their family and are responsible for nothing... so how are they supposed to develop meaningful self-worth or confidence that doesn't come from an outside party?

If no one had prepared me for adulthood, I'd be anxious too. If I had never learned self-worth, I suppose I'd care about other people validating me.

The best way to learn to take a punch is to get punched. The best way to develop life skills is to practice, which necessarily involves failure and trying again...and no one is letting making them practice, or fail, or learn.

So here we have a flood of boys reaching adulthood who have no social skills and no life skills and no self worth and no resilience, who have grown up watching violent porn. But now they're meeting real women with thoughts and feelings, and they're discovering that to get with those women they need life skills, maturity, and partnership skills that take decades to hone. But they don't have them.

And since they don't know how to deal with disappointment or rejection or anger, and since developing skills and taking punches is hard work, they're reacting with violence, MRA twaddle, silencing, and trying to force women to just be the things they saw in teh pr0nz. Because it's easier. And since there's always some dumb handmaid out there who will give them what they want, they never learn.

[–]TheSeventhSense[S] 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

Great explanation and you pretty much covered all the bases that I have nothing to add to this. All I can say is that I'm scared for the future of society because having an entire generation of young, aimless, and purposeless men wandering around looking for a meaning anywhere they can find it is defiently a recipe for disaster society-wise.

[–]StupidHappyPancakes 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I think males have learned to be too dependent upon females for validation, emotional caretaking, and motivation. The angry and bitter incels may talk about sex constantly and blame their virgin status for their woes, but it's more that males have learned to be validated through women having sex with them. It's why most incels don't feel better whatsoever if they lose their virginity to a prostitute, because then they feel even LESS like a man.

Males depend on females for emotional caretaking as well because they aren't encouraged to have deep connections in their male friendships, and thus they keep all their feelings locked up tight just waiting to find a woman with whom he can finally be himself. Young males today are growing up in a society that superficially berates toxic masculinity, and unfortunately many of these boys growing up feel revulsion or even hatred for their fathers, so they became alienated from masculinity and desperate to enter the emotionally gratifying company of femininity, yet they are too undersocialized to be able to interact with the opposite sex successfully.

Male friendly relationships with one another in general just seem so distant and casual these days, and far too many males only interact with their fellow males online, which exposes them to radical and hateful ideologies. Then they are told that all their woes are because they haven't had sex, because that's how a man proves he is valid and proves he is a member of the male community. Men used to have so many bonding experiences and even initiation rituals to welcome boys to manhood, but now the doorway to manhood has become SOLELY having sex, which encourages putting women way high up on pedastals one minute and then despising every woman alive the next. And in men who ARE married or partnered, more and more of them consider their wives their best friend or often really their ONLY friend.

This starts to make such males feel like females COULD solve all their problems SO easily if they WANTED to, and they feel rage and bewilderment when women fail to come along and fix everything that's wrong in their lives. I have spoken with an awful lot of men in their late teens/early 20s who have more of a fairy tale concept of relationships than even the average teenage girl, and it leaves them rudderless when their dream girl fails to materialize out of thin air. More and more men like this are simply opting out of life, reasoning that there's no reason to accomplish anything if a man is no longer guaranteed a wife and a family.

[–]malleus_maleficarum 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

an entire generation of young, aimless, and purposeless men

...basically that is the primary reason I spend time at the range.