I'm new to saidit, and confused. But I am here to at least get some of my peaking off my chest. I never really was on board the trans train, I guess, it just seemed nutty to me from the get go, because you can't be born in the wrong body. I was peaked a few years back, but never went to reddit, or other sites to discuss it, I mostly stayed on pinterest, and was peaked by absolute denial of biological facts. Some troll was trying to convince me, that if a man said his penis was a clitoris, then it was, because of intersex people. My refutation was, my genetics professor disagrees with that, and would tell you what a selfish dunce you are for using intersex individuals. Magdalen is probably who made it clear for, I felt less confused, and that I wasn't the only one who found this all a farce. The first video I watched of hers, was of Charlotte Clymer. I felt for a long time though, that Germany would not go the way of the anglosphere, that because of the lack of the word for gender, that it would be harder to obfuscate reality, and that, Germans, don't really liked being told to fall in line with group think, you, having gone through two authoritarian regimes in the last 100 years. (yes, Nazi Germany was worse in my opinion than the DDR, I think I shouldn't have to explain why, it is obvious to me, the DDR was however non the less an authoritarian regime) Well, I don't know about that now, but the reason I have decided to come to Saidit, is because I feel at a loss. To me, having been peaked for about 5 years, from the biological denial, the digusting caricatures of what TiMs believe women are, the threats of sexual violence, hanging effigies of terfs, of violence (of the attack on Maria MacLachlan, to rats nailed to VRR Center), ach and the cotton ceiling, so rapey and so gross. My heart goes out to my lesbian sisters that have dealt with these TiMs. And reading the accounts of trans widows, how narcissistic and vile their husbands are. I peaked again there, over and over again, maybe it's because of having been in a relationship with a narcissist, and how the emtional abuse hits, a little too close to home. I have hit a block in my personal life in being able to talk about it. I guess a kind of allegory of the cave. I guess, I'ved peaked on the lengths this ideology is able to reach. I haven't been too shy about it with my parents, my mother loves to comment, on how I let this "trans stufff" make me so angry, and I need to stop caring about it, because it's bad for my mental health. Despite the fact that my mental health, is actually great, being angry it medical experimentation on children isn't mental illness. My one sister, believes I hate trans people, because I don't believe TiMs should be in women's spaces, and because I use medical terms like, double masectomy, or penile inversion, and take issue with the misuse of the chemical and pharmacological term of trans and cis. Also, I shouldn't have issues with porn, because it's not that bad, and is wrong to take away women's choice to be beaten, strangled and raped for their male partner's sexual gratification (but when questioned, on why is it okay for men to get off on beating women for sex, the conversation needs to end, and I need to stop hating trans people, because they are suffering). Sorry for all the rambling, the final nail in the coffin, was discussing with my other sister. She used to be, well gender critical in her views, because she hadn't looked into it, but that I was off my rocker, and that the fetishistic men, were just a niche, of a niche, and that I must be kind to dysphoric individuals. Until JK Rowling's essay: she said it was hateful, and I answered, "I thought it was tame, and actually very kind to trans individuals, what exactly in it makes you think she hates trans individuals." She read it, agreed, that I might not be too unfairly angry, to the next week, saying, "Well they are not cancelling gender critical views, because Rowling still has a twitter!!!" On further questioning about all the other women having kicked off for expressing gender critical views, and stating the biological that woman is adult human female, no, that's not why these women were kicked off, they did something wrong, they deserved to be kicked off. A couple weeks ago, she was explaining to my mom that, sometimes 2+2 does equal 5. This doesn't really sound like your typical peak experience, sounds probably like family drama. I am sorry if it is not really coherent, and rambly, drinking maybe a bit too much wine, to even write this all out. I feel a little nuts, to be honest, and no one to really talk to. There are amazing voices and people speaking out, I just love Karen Davis, she speaks to my soul. And maybe Germany, as of yet will not write women out of law, like America has, but so much is happening with out ANYONE being told. I can not kowtow to this vile nonsense, I don't really know how to speak up about it either. Sorry for my ramblings, maybe I just needed to get that off my chest.