I need just two or three salient points to send to a mom friend that highlight why gender ideology is harmful...

submitted by lavender_watercolor from self.GenderCritical

I have a mom friend and she has drank the gender identity ideology kool-aid. I'm trying to bring her over to the other side and have her see how this gender ideology is harmful to children, but honestly I have so much information, I don't even know where to start. I already sent her some stuff about the 4400% increase in girls transitioning, how they are sterilizing primarily gay kids, etc. I've sent her information on how current school curriculums reinforce gender stereotypes rather than break them down. She said, how do you know that your sources aren't subject to confirmation bias, and how would you help your child if they said they were trans?

This is someone who wanted to raise her daughter completely gender neutral and toyed with the idea of starting a gender neutral clothing company because she hated how girls clothing is cheaper, sexualized and ugly (too pink).

She doesn't understand how the entire ideology is toxic. I have so much information on why it's harmful to children that i'm drowning in it, I don't even know where to start. I do not want to send her ten pages, I want to send her 2-3paragraphs. Any ideas on where to start? Anyone had success with mom friends? Please help.

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[–]fuckingsealions 10 insightful - 1 fun10 insightful - 0 fun11 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

I am a mom, and I think what would get me was the idea that in some school systems they accept kids' social transitioning without contacting parents, because parents might be unsafe. What a headfuck that is for kids to immediately be plunged into this double life.

At some gender clinics or through some doctors, kids can get T without parental permission or knowledge, and it can have some gnarly side effects that kids may not really understand the consequences of. Also there's no real evidence that kids are less suicidal once they transition. The problems are still there.

It's being considered a social contagion or craze--young women are likely to pick up on what's going on with their friends in distress and feel it matches them too. Not saying that all trans kids are wrong, but it would be better to unpack the underlying issues with kids who are depressed.

It's fucked up that our girls are being sucked into the transcult and welcomed with open arms, and no one questions the explosion in growth, or the general one sidedness of it in teen girls. TRAs are just using them as cannon fodder.

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-7389237/Transgender-children-urged-not-tell-parents-doctors-accused-pushing-kids-transition.html

https://theconversation.com/transgender-youth-can-now-access-hormone-treatment-without-court-approval-88469

https://www.sciencemag.org/news/2018/08/new-paper-ignites-storm-over-whether-teens-experience-rapid-onset-transgender-identity

[–]lavender_watercolor[S] 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

This is a great way to approach it, thank you!

[–]fuckingsealions 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Good luck!

[–]DogeWalker 10 insightful - 1 fun10 insightful - 0 fun11 insightful - 1 fun -  (4 children)

IMO a good angle would be to focus on detrans stories and the general reversibility of the treatments... or the lack thereof. We don't even let kids get tattoos on their own until they're 18. If we're going to be putting minors on drugs within weeks or months of a diagnosis... we better use caution and make damn sure that the treatments aren't going to cause any harm.

I think it is unlikely that you will fully change her mind, until the random day that she becomes ready for change on her own. That's just how most people are, unfortunately. But you could mention these ideas in the background, as a way of creating an escape valve for the doublethink logic of Trans activism.

The stories of detrans are already marginalized and rarely heard, so you can frame it as, I just heard these stories and found them interesting. Plus raising questions like, it seems like detrans get attacked from the 'mainstream' trans community... why on earth would they do that??? etc.

[–]lavender_watercolor[S] 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

Do you have a good place you recommend to link regarding detrans stories I can send her?

[–]Yayme 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

https://4thwavenow.com/

Their tag line is "A community of people who question the medicalization of gender-atypical youth."

[–]DogeWalker 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

https://www.piqueresproject.com/ - Pique Resilience Project

GNC Centric on Youtube

r/detrans is still online, mostly people sharing their stories, but they also have links in the wiki/sidebar.

[–]lavender_watercolor[S] 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Thank you! I haven't heard of GNC or Pique Resilience Project, I'll check them out! And a good reminder to check out the sidebar of detrans!

[–]sotired 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

Vancouver Rape relief was protested against, and defunded. Not only that, "feminists" nailed dead rats around the place. All for not allowing a trans woman to volunteer! A freaking rape shelter! Which houses vulnerable women! Why do they want to expose these poor women, many of whom are probably triggered by male bodies, after having been subject to male violence, to transgender males?! And how do they think that defunding a rape shelter, and messing up its operation, is progressive?

https://4w.pub/first-they-came-for-the-rape-crisis-center/

Edit: The top comment on https://saidit.net/s/GenderCritical/comments/5643/stats_on_violence_against_women_by_tims/ is also useful. It's extremely horrible that trans males are imprisoned in women's prisons, and they've also raped female prisoners.

[–]lavender_watercolor[S] 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Yes the Vancouver Rape Relief was one of my "just when I thought I couldn't peak anymore" moments....though i'm surprised because I brought it up with a different friend and he could care less. I didn't know it was due to a volunteer, I thought it was because someone wanted to stay there....that just makes it so much worse. Thank you for the information, the top comment on that thread is also very helpful!

[–]sotired 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

afaik they offer services to trans women in separate spaces.

[–]Spikygrasspod 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Including trans women makes the single sex rights and spaces that feminists fought for into mixed sex rights and spaces by default, which defeats the point. Think sports, prisons, shelters. Look at Rachel McKinnon and Fallon Fox winning women's sports, and find Fallon Fox's twitter boast about how he likes cracking 'TEF' skulls. Most normal people realise deep down that a male competing with a female in mixed martial arts is obscene, and his violent boasts should help clear up any doubts about his social gender, too.

Be sure to let her know that trans no longer refers to a tiny group of people with a diagnosable disorder; it refers to anyone who self declares that they are trans. Those heart warming affirmations that you're 'valid' even if you choose not to get surgery or hormones or wear dresses or makeup or conform to gender stereotypes? What it really means is that a male, masculine-acting person can be a woman just by saying he is. No medical transition, no social transition, nothing but a declaration.

[–]Spikygrasspod 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Also, on transing kids, if you want to avoid accusations of bias, why not go straight to the source? Check out the APA's latest DMS-5 and see what their criteria are for diagnosing transgender and starting treatment. Unfortunately they don't publish the criteria for children on their website, but they do publish the criteria for adolescents and adults. You only have to meet 2 of 6 criteria. Four of those are about gender non conforming behaviour or feelings, one is about a desire to change sex based on gender non conforming feelings, and only one is about wanting to change sex. In their very own words, someone with distress arising from gender non conforming feelings for six months has gender dysphoria. Ask your friend what the difference is between a young person with utterly understandable distress at harmful, restrictive sex roles, and a young person with an innate trans identity that should lead to a lifetime of medical interventions.

[–]lavender_watercolor[S] 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I like the way you phrased the last line...that is very powerful. Thank you!

[–]heidischallenge 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

4th wave now and transgender trend are excellent blogs. Transgender trend has a document for schools. Here's one for parents https://www.transgendertrend.com/resources-for-parents/

[–]lavender_watercolor[S] 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I have donated to transgendertrend but I never realized that they had that resource page! That is a goldmine, thank you!