Told my friend TIMs have male priviledge. They (non-binary *eyeroll*) said I triggered them and now they want to have a conversation with me about our friendship... oh lordy

submitted by bradjohnsonishere from self.GenderCritical

First of all, F*** Reddit for banning our community but not the dozens of horrific degrading porn subs. It makes me sick. I wanted to bad to speak out, but, like most of you, I fear repercussions at my job.

So my friend and I got drunk and had a conversation and literally all I said was - I support trans people, they can live their life, but it's harmful to women if we say that trans women have no male privilege and trans men aren't oppressed at some point because of their female body.

So now they texted me and said "I think the dynamic of our relationship has changed. I felt very triggered and upset and I'd like to talk to you."

Screw it, if they don't want to be friends anymore because I said males have male privilege, then good bye and good riddance.

Miss you ladies on Reddit :(

all 9 comments
sorted by:
top
newinsightfulfun

[–][deleted] 11 insightful - 1 fun11 insightful - 0 fun12 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Not much reason to be friends with someone if they're going to threaten you with ending your friendship over having different opinions than you. To me, it's almost in the same vein as people threatening suicide if you leave them. Don't fall for manipulation tactics that would punish you for "wrongthink". If you're able to have a topical friendship with them that involves neither of you discussing those topics, go nuts. I would say that "My way or the highway" thinking is a shitty and entitled way of keeping friendships, but I guess we all have lines drawn somewhere for the kind of company that we want to keep.

[–]Red_Bastard 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

That's some manipulative behaviour from a supposed friend. Either this person respects you as an individual with your own mind and opinions or they do not.

[–]Spikygrasspod 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

Do trans men have privilege? I haven't seen this argument before. Do you mean on the basis of passing? Because I would have thought a non-passing trans man could be quite vulnerable?

Maybe you should ask them what's upsetting them specifically. Is it the case that disagreeing about who has privilege is itself upsetting enough to change a friendship? Or do they think the conversation about privilege is symbolic of something more important, like you accepting them as a person or as non-binary?

[–]bradjohnsonishere[S] 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

What I was saying was that like Bruce Jenner for example lived as a male his whole life, so he lived with that male privilege. My friend says that he never had male privilege because he was always a trans woman on the inside. I tried to explain that privilege is not about your feelings or what YOU think of yourself. It's about how society perceives you. So trans women, BY DEFINITION, were male at some point. So at some point they benefited from the patriarchy.

[–]Spikygrasspod 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Ah, I must have misread your post. I thought you were talking about trans men/trans-identified females.

[–]fogellegof 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

"TiM" means "Trans identifying Male", i.e. trans woman. And they sure have. I've seen some posts about guys bragging around that they are just "girls" in their spare time and normal men in business, because they are taken more seriously. (rly?!). But I could think it could be possible that a well passing TiF = trans man could have male privilege at first.

[–]peregrine_throw 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

JFC goodbye, grammar. I had to restart reading your post 3x to understand if this was about one person or one person who then ganged up with your other friends against you.

They have male privilege. No woman would be able to get away with shit TIMs pull. From as superficial as ridiculous clothing, to their violence, to the quick cooperative institutional capture... reeks of male entitlement and privilege. ffs, girls and women can't even successfully win tampon tax removal, yet men have been able to legally dictate humans can change sexes.

[–]Delia 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I read a story some years ago about a trans woman who said this about transitioning to a trans woman, this person said "I went into work and no one listened to me the way they did when I was a man". This transperson said it.

[–]hellamomzilla 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I hope you beat this person to the punch. Literally, we all need to do the tie-cutting ourselves -- people who have zero ability to cope with other human beings having a basic understanding of reality? Bye.