I agree with everything you wrote although I was under the impression we're not supposed to say "trans" here which is why I avoided using it. I would add that the worry about bathrooms isn't about just bathrooms, or even about actual transexual people, it's about autogynephiles and male predators taking advantage of female spaces. Something which men don't have to worry about the vast majority of the time which is what makes it a strong feminist issue.

I think it's important to advocate for actual Trans Rights, and medical research, and get away from this umbrella that groups other kind of gender non conforming people in with transexual people. Sex is NOT gender and I thought feminists and queer people have been fighting for that be normalized for the last... 70+ years? No person that isn't diagnosed by a thorough set of guidelines should be able to call themselves "trans" just because they want to. If someone with a penis is sexually assaulted they deserve the same empathy and protection as anyone else, but someone with a penis shouldn't be automatically allowed into female rape centers just on their word.

Life is cruel and uncaring and the hard truth is there is no way to make it "equal" for everyone, by the standards of transexuals who want to pass and be treated as women or men instead of trans women or trans men. If they want the social treatment they feel they need then sometimes they will have to address their transexual condition, they will have to name it and be categorized by it. Most of us can recognize that sucks for them, we can be empathetic and try to be as kind to them as is reasonable. But it's their reality, they can't expect the whole world to change the rules around a basic denial of reality. I assume a lot of them don't, and I feel bad for them that their voices are buried by perverts and narcissists.