To all the men already here

submitted by bananasaft from self.GenderCritical

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[–][deleted]  (11 children)

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    [–]Amazing_Aardvark 16 insightful - 4 fun16 insightful - 3 fun17 insightful - 4 fun -  (1 child)

    This is a valid point. Seeing people say "F off" to men is off-putting and seems unproductive to me.

    [–]Realwoman 5 insightful - 2 fun5 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

    I'm not a fan either. I like civil language.

    [–]Mallard 11 insightful - 2 fun11 insightful - 1 fun12 insightful - 2 fun -  (8 children)

    I agree with you, and I'm hoping that the community here will be open to both sexes. The ever-present, unproductive and exhausting man bashing was the worst part of the Reddit GenderCritical community, and I got insulted repeatedly for challenging it, which made me stop commenting there altogether. I don't despise men, nor do I seek to avoid communicating with them, which was apparently an issue for many of the other women. I believe it is counterproductive to close the gates to certain groups.

    I'm hoping that people here will learn from the experience they have just had, and not immediately start begging to be constrained and censored in the same manner they were on Reddit. If you don't like someone's comments or posts, and you can't bear to engage, you should learn to ignore.

    [–]Riva 8 insightful - 2 fun8 insightful - 1 fun9 insightful - 2 fun -  (5 children)

    Totally agree. Men and women may have a different way of communicating. Focus on different things (because we see different things as important), but different perspectives are valuable. Even ones you disagree with. Even if they're presented in a way that's not great.

    Here's a terrible example. Reddit taught me the difference between there, they're and their. Why? Because people shamed me for being an idiot when I misused it on Reddit in 2008. Lol. Anyway, I learned and it wasn't awful.

    Censoring anyone you don't agree with will ultimately hurt you. It's a losing game.

    Looking forward to some interesting conversations. This place is already better. :)

    [–]homeless-g_c-mod 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (4 children)

    This is a radfem community. How are you going to have conversations about women's struggle for liberation when the conversation is open to men? This is like operating a vegan subreddit but allowing it to include constant shitposting from omnis. This isn't a debate subreddit, it's a place for gender critical feminism. If it was made to be a community for anyone with varying opinions then it wouldn't be a gencrit fem space at all. Your logic is flawed.

    [–]Amazing_Aardvark 4 insightful - 2 fun4 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 2 fun -  (3 children)

    That logic holds true if you think men's contributions here will only consist of debate or "constant shitposting". I dunno, I just think if women don't allow men in these conversations then we shouldn't expect men to speak up on our behalf either.

    [–]homeless-g_c-mod 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

    How are you going to create a women-centered community for women with open access to men? If you allow an oppressed group and their oppressor group into the same space, it will come as no surprise when the oppressor group dominates the conversation.

    How does, "We want to have private communities to discuss our grievances" translate to, "I'm not allowed in, so I don't have to care that women are treated like objects or worse?" Why do you think it so upsetting to so many people to have a women's only feminist community?

    [–]Amazing_Aardvark 4 insightful - 2 fun4 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

    My logic is this: we are here to critique gender ideology, which has a disproportionately negative impact on women. Naturally, the community discussing it will consist of mostly women. But any insightful and productive input is welcome, regardless of the contributor's sex.

    It's fine if you disagree, and maybe you have more experience with this particular community, but in my IRL experience reasonable conversation about this issue is often enhanced if men are allowed to contribute.

    [–]Veneficca 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

    Men have plenty of forums to enter conversations with women. Why can't we have one that's just for women? Why must men insert themselves into every single women's space?

    I think it was fine the way it was before - men could post and comment and they did. But they were encouraged to go to GC Men or the GC Debate sub. Maybe what we really need is a specifically radfem GC sub and then a general GC sub for everyone. I recognize that lots of people are obsessed with this topic who aren't on board with radfem politics.

    [–]Veneficca 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

    learn from the experience they have just had

    You make it sound like GC deserved to be kicked off Reddit. We followed their rules, the mods were exceptional in deleting dehumanizing content, and still got banned. Sounds like the only lesson to be learned is that men will try to silence women no matter what - not "be nicer to men."