Was a lurker, now a poster...

submitted by sallytomato from self.GenderCritical

I've been lurking at the GC subreddit for almost a year now. I wouldn't join or post because I heard that other subs would ban you. Also I work in academia and I was just really, really, afraid of being doxxed and losing my job. My spouse also works a sensitive job and I didn't want to risk our livelihoods so I stayed silent but nodded in agreement with every post. There are so many of us out there scared to speak up, and I want to say thank you to each and every one of you who speak for those of us too afraid to do so. You are appreciated more than you know.

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[–]deity 49 insightful - 1 fun49 insightful - 0 fun50 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

The fact that you couldn't post without fear of other subs banning you just proves how fucking stupid reddit is.

[–]JustAMom 21 insightful - 1 fun21 insightful - 0 fun22 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Im in a very similar situation as you, I was also was afraid to speak out. Today is my first day of posting. I can no longer be silent. I don't know what I can do or how to contribute. All I know is that is that I will fight for my daughters sex based protections and rights. When she is an adult she will not have to ask me why I didn't try to protect her.

[–]Sistersovermisters 21 insightful - 1 fun21 insightful - 0 fun22 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I was lurking and the GC subreddit saved myself from internalized misogyny and turned me away from the lures of the trans culture. It was a scary time, and it made me FURIOUS to see GC gone, just like that. I never wanted to voice my opinions because I was so scared of being doxxed. I just wanted to read other's frustrations and I wanted to vent personally. I have very kind trans ftm friends who are just scared of even the idea of womenhood. I cannot stand for this and we need to keep our voices strong. We can survive elsewhere.

[–]radfemanon 18 insightful - 1 fun18 insightful - 0 fun19 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

There are many more like you and eventually we will all have to stand up and be counted.

Its OK though because we are united. We are strong and we will never stop fighting!

[–]misogynyismisogyny 16 insightful - 3 fun16 insightful - 2 fun17 insightful - 3 fun -  (0 children)

I am so glad the sub existed, it was the one place I could go and feel as if I wasn't going insane in this tupsy turvy world. There are so many silent allies out there. I get that so many of us are in positions where this ideology puts as at risk. But, isn't there must be some way we can get all those other women out there to know that they aren't alone in this? Do we need to start moving stealth? Create an underground network? Seriously, if you look at how the TRA movement has been going, so much of it happens behind the scenes. We need to find a way to galvanise our silent majority into action.

[–]fuckingsealions 14 insightful - 1 fun14 insightful - 0 fun15 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

No judging. We know that for some women, having radical views hits you in the paycheck. Do what's right for you to survive, and welcome.

[–]peakitypeaked 13 insightful - 1 fun13 insightful - 0 fun14 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I hope Saidit's servers are strong enough for all of us because this ban has also converted me into a poster instead of just a lurker. What I can't comprehend is why all the misogynistic porn subs and men's rights subs are still up but a sane, high quality discussion sub with respectful and sensible discussion points is banned. It's pure misogyny from the Reddit admins disguised as social justice. Now that advertisers are all pandering to the loud minority of "woke" teens and misogynists, Reddit is scared of offending them. What utter trash.

[–]tyedye85 12 insightful - 2 fun12 insightful - 1 fun13 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

I completely agree. I actually subbed and posted a few times on GC and LGBdroptheT and true lesbians and I deleted my 5 year Reddit account cause I was worried that someone could shuffle through my comment history and figure out who I was and doxx me.

[–]millicentfawcett 12 insightful - 1 fun12 insightful - 0 fun13 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I was a long time lurker and reader. Not out of fear, more because I don't like Reddit so I've stuck to MN for years and more recently Spinster. Joined up here today in solidarity. I'd not heard of this site before - hope it works out and everyone can regroup.

[–]TryingExposeRealFact 11 insightful - 1 fun11 insightful - 0 fun12 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Yes, me too. I was afraid to speak out. I 100% agree with you.

[–]AngryRadish 10 insightful - 1 fun10 insightful - 0 fun11 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I am another like you. It feels nice to just speak my mind finally. It's sad that so many women are afraid of having opinions. The repercussions are far harsher for us than for men. The world hates us we stray the smallest bit from the mainstream, amicable disposition that women are socialised into from when we are small.

[–]GEEUP94 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I'm now an ex-lurker too. furious at reddit for banning it but glad in a way that I now feel more confident than ever in being gender critical and want to have an active voice now. solidarity all!

[–]Lilith_Fair 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

I was mostly a lurker too. Only posted a few times. Mostly because I'm too busy and don't have a lot of time to engage on social media. But also because I don't always agree with everything Rad Fem. But I was a proud feminist, until feminism become something I no longer recognize, and the Left left me and I became politically homeless. Nonetheless, I will always stand up for women and want the best for women.

[–]tyedye85 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

I feel the same way. I always referred to myself as a feminist but then suddenly there’s some “feminists” saying that all men should be raped or killed - like WTF?

[–]Lilith_Fair 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

There are some with views on the extreme. I'm also not on board with today's so-called 3rd wave feminists either. So I guess I'm WGTW in that respect when it comes to fighting and supporting women.

[–]LesbianSeparatist 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I was the same and finally peaked so hard a bit ago that I made an alt account to agree. I think they've successfully silenced so many women through these "witchhunting" tactics and I hope that GC getting banned when so many hateful subs get much less pokes a bit of a hornet's nest.

[–]ZeWombat 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Mostly same here. I read most posts using my main account. I had an account that I would sometimes log into to comment on GC. No more - I'm ZeWombat full time here on saidit, no matter the sub.

[–]Itsmeagain 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Me too. This is already better than Reddit.

[–]threefingersam 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

It is refreshing to speak more openly. i also had similar concerns about doxxing and being banned by other subs by association.

[–]Lyssa 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Same here. The transgender movement/issue has rubbed me the wrong way for some time. Since the latest JK Rowling Twitter battle I've donated around 100 GBP to gender critical causes and I've created an account on SAIDIT specifically to participate here.

I did not on Reddit because I disagree with some other aspects of radical feminism. But banning the sub? While a lot of other shit is allowed to stay up? While gendercriticalGUYS is allowed to stay up?

Enough.

And to the TRA brigade initiating the ban and going after Rowling: You've been stupid to go after somebody her size. And you continue being stupid by now going after perfectly normal citizens who two weeks ago had no clue that your agenda even exists. Who do you think has deeper pockets and more votes in the end: A few hundred people posting selfies and anime and hitting the report button on Twitter 24/7 or a pissed off mega millionaire and hundreds of thousands of women with real lifes, jobs and bank accounts? If in doubt, ask The Body Shop six months from now.

[–]fifflyf 1 insightful - 2 fun1 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

👏👏👏

[–][deleted] 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

"I wouldn't join or post because I heard that other subs would ban you."

Same. You and your partner have legitimate concerns, though. It was maddening to read some of the articles on GC that linked women being targeted in academia, so I think you were/are smart to play it safe. As you can tell, you're not alone. I, too, have just converted from a lurker to a poster. You, too, are very much appreciated.

[–]Charlie_H 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I'm also another lurker that now wants to participate more. I was planning on being more active on gc reddit and the moment I decided to get involved it was gone. But I'm glad to have this group instead.

[–]respectmyidentity 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I just want to say that it is indicative of how serious income inequality has become in the US- that GC feminists are being banned from Reddit and that the rest of the world is jumping onto TRA ideology because we are so culturally influential. Only in very well to do, liberal, elite circles would some of the things said in trans groups on Reddit be acceptable. Rich men support TRA's because it allows them to continue to behave in ways that exploit women for sexual gratification. These men aren't healthy, they are deeply insecure and wounded and they are willing to harm untold numbers of women to feed their own ego. Look at Weinstein and Epstein - those two men alone raped hundreds of women. What can we do about this? I don't want anyone to be harmed (esp poor trans people), but I am not willing to weaken women's rights and protections in that process. We should be building trans specific services not asking women to share resources that are already scarce and inadequate for them.

[–]eeehmacarena 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I've been lurking since r/gendercritical had less than 6k subscribers. Heartbroken rn :(

[–]Tumblingteddy 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I can completely relate to this. I'm out now. I took down my photo on twitter, (I have no friends or family following) and I will speak out. We are dealing with a huge, sinister problem here.

[–][deleted] 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I deleted my reddit a couple months ago but I still read this sub all the time. I pretty was active for like 2 years and with this ban which is an injustice, I decided to join again.

[–]Annie_Alien 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Same here! I would check GC everyday during my breaks at work or at home. I rarely posted anything myself but I learnt so much wisdom from other women, which as a teenager with few female role models or friends has been invaluable. Just being part of a community made by women for women made me feel safe and at home.

[–]Heczed 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Welcome aboard!

[–]Martuka 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Hello from a fellow first time poster! I'm so happy to read so many of us are considering opening up about our GC views after what happened. Hopefully the day will come when we won't be afraid about losing friends, being fired from our jobs or even our own safety just for expressing our thoughts and beliefs.

[–]Myb0ybill 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I was lurking for ages. Finally plucked up the courage to start posting and it gets banned! I'm livid.

[–]Jessicka 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I completely agree - I spent a very long time lurking in agreement but keeping quiet due to being too scared to speak up. The reddit bans shocked me, losing the feminist space that I held so dear is incredibly difficult but it's only resulted in me seeking out more like-minded women and now adding my voice to the discussion. I am so glad to have found you ladies!

[–][deleted] 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Same here! I was a long time lurker and really appreciated the GC subreddit for letting me know that I wasn't the only one going crazy. Happy to have this new place where we all can regroup.

[–]Middx 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I'm also new. Have been following the issues for a year or so now on mumsnet. Not got involved with reddit at all. But saw the GC subreddit has been banned and feel its time to get more involved.