GC: What is so hard about using people's preferred pronouns?

submitted by GenderbenderShe/her/hers from self.GCdebatesQT

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[–]HouseplantWomen who disagree with QT are a different sex 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (11 children)

I guess the hard part is the expectation that I will learn to mistrust and ignore my perceptions and adopt the thoughts and language of whoever is in front of me.

Feels extremely unhealthy.

[–]GenderbenderShe/her/hers[S] 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (10 children)

It's not unhealthy to respect someone's pronouns. In fact if you met Buck for the first time and didn't know he was trans, you would perceive him as a man.

[–]HouseplantWomen who disagree with QT are a different sex 4 insightful - 2 fun4 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

You are not capable of deciding or knowing what my perceptions are.

That’s not a power you or anyone else on the planet has. Trying to claim that you do have this ability is kind of disturbing to me.

It’s absolutely unhealthy for any person not experiencing active psychosis to disregard one’s own perceptions of the world.

It is not healthy for anyone ever to disregard their own perceptions and have someone else decide what reality is for them.

Please explain precisely how it is healthy for another person to inform you of what is real and what isn’t. As much detail as possible, preferably.

[–]cars 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (7 children)

Buck Angel is perceptibly female. I might get confused at first because Buck is bald and bearded, but I would be able to clock them as female. I can do this because I am male, which means I have an easier time spotting if a masculine-presenting person is female. Women can do the same thing for feminine-presenting people.

[–]penelopekitty 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

It's clear Buck is female. There are many clues including voice, hands, stance, demeanor and movement. Many people can pass in a photo but video and IRL there are too many clues. I'm a woman and I can correctly sex people in person or video 100% of the time.

[–]adungitit 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

It's easy to say that after the fact. Among people there is quite a variety in voice, appearance, movements, demeanor etc. Insisting that you can always tell with 100% certainty is delusional and I don't believe it for a second

[–]GenderbenderShe/her/hers[S] 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (4 children)

He doesn't look female at all to me.

[–]HouseplantWomen who disagree with QT are a different sex 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

And are your perceptions the only acceptable ones? Or Are your perceptions universal and some of us simply lie and pretend we perceive differently to you?

What makes your perception of buck more valid than another persons?

[–]adungitit 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

When you have people talking about how we all evolved to recognise men and women and how everyone can tell, then the fact that plenty of people can't tell goes contrary to that (though I will say, a trans activist who is obliged to pretend like anyone is whatever they say they are is not the best metric of a person's ability to acknowledge reality).

[–]HouseplantWomen who disagree with QT are a different sex 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Sure not everyone is instantly identifiable as their sex but the way GB claims that because she thinks buck looks like a true and honest man we do and basically lie about it is total bullshit.

[–]BiologyIsReal 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

look =/= being

Anyways, is that, really, the only comment you're going to reply to?

[–]adungitit 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

The fact that superficial perception can be tricked does not change the reality of human biology. People think spiders are insects, but that doesn't make it so. People have mistaken me for a man, that does not make me male. It's honestly astonishing how many trans activists need to have it explained to them that holding patently false beliefs does not make them valid just because you believe in them.

I will also say, I have continuously been able to tell who's male or female in online trans spaces solely by their very typical gendered socialisation. That perfectly demonstrates why gender validation is so problematic and even straight up dangerous. Saying someone is male or female based not in whether they are male or female but solely based on hearsay or superficial appearances ignores the actually real gendered socialisation that we are all raised with, whether we acknowledge it or not.