GC: How would you react if you saw a trans woman in the women's restroom?

submitted by GenderbenderShe/her/hers from self.GCdebatesQT

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[–][deleted] 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

It would be so much easier for me to accept TW are women

Well I'm trying I'll let you know in the future I guess

Why is it better to be called a boy if a boy is still a male? I just don’t get this.

Idk it's still bad but at least it's not a man, only men abused me not boys, I promised I would never grow up to become one.

If You dyed your hair blonde you’re a blonde though? Like not naturally but you can actually truly really have blonde hair. If your roots show people would know it’s not natural but you’d still be blonde? Sex doesn’t work that way, though.

It's kinda the same though like obvi if someone were in my home and saw me in the shower or something they'd know but externally I'm still the same. Transitioning isn't as simple as dyeing hair gosh I wish it was.

Also yeah idk transwoman is such an othering term that puts me in a category totally apart from women. I'm not gonna call myself that even if it means people call me a man bc of it. I'd rather be seen as a trans woman, with the space, without having to convince people than rely on people's kindness in calling me a transwoman.

[–]loveSloaneDebate King 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

Does it ever occur to you that maybe your abuse as a boy impacted you having dysphoria and identifying as your perception of a woman? Genuinely asking, not making a point tho it does seem like it’s a factor to me.

My point is still that dyed or not, you’re literally a blonde. Sex isn’t something that can be changed, and woman is a sex based term. Being blonde means you have blonde hair, being a woman means you’re an adult female human.

You’re still relying on people’s kindness when they call you trans woman with the space. To most people transwoman/trans woman is just code for man. We may understand it to refer to a type of man who wants to present as a woman,and we may be kind enough to call them she/her and not call them men, but it’s still just a word we use out of politesse, it doesn’t mean we mean it or believe it. Same for transmen/trans men. It translates to us as a type of woman who wants to present as a man.

[–][deleted] 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

It's probably part of it, but even before that there were signs. Even if that was the catalyst I just see that as part of who I am, really. Being a man now wouldn't undo that trauma and I'm just not really interested in being seen that way.

Sex isn’t something that can be change

What about sex can't be in principle be changed?

You’re still relying on people’s kindness when they call you trans woman with the space

I don't like to rely on people's kindness though, it's unreliable and I feel guilty for it. I don't know which of my coworkers are GC if any. I don't really want to know. As long as I stay invisible then I won't be pressuring people to be polite.

And fwiw I think a lot of people also do really see trans men and women as men and women.

[–]loveSloaneDebate King 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Sex is immutable. You can change characteristics indicative of sex but sex itself remains unchanged.

I get what you’re saying about being invisible, I was just speaking in general. I don’t believe most trans people pass but I don’t deny that some can. Even when I was an ally and staunch believer in TWAW and TMAM, in my experience most people don’t see them as the sex they wish, but agree it’s not costing them anything to call them what they prefer.