Until they can do a full body/brain transplant you’re going to be male.

This is actually what I want and hope for!

you could go outside because most people aren’t think in about you

But if they think of me in that way then it ruins my whole day lol, I'm just saying my participation in public is totally dependent on being able to pass. If I start not passing, then I won't choose to keep participating in public. I get my groceries and medication delivered, I take a vitamin D supplement, etc.

If your dysphoria were being treated more effectively you’d understand this.

This is the treatment for it. There's no "other way" right now that reliably cures dysphoria, and I won't accept a "treatment" that fundamentally changes my gender identity bc that's just conversion. It wouldn't be me.

There’s nothing you can do.

Well fuck I guess that's it then?

Waking up in a different body is not the same as waking up in the body you’ve always had and wishing you woke up with a different body

If it were you, how would you know any different? Both people would feel wrong about the body they're now in, why wouldn't you tell the person who got swapped to accept reality or whatever? You say there's a difference but that's only because you know a swap happened, for the person living it the circumstances of how it happened don't matter. It's just sanism, discarding people's mental states as disordered because they don't match your worldview of the ways it's okay for people to think or be.

You can say you know it in your core- you don’t.

I do, it's still my body, I'm the one who decides if it's wrong for me or not.

You want to be stealth, meaning mislead and lie to people for the rest of your life? So… you want to be dishonest with every relationship or friendship you have and yet I assume would want those people to love you for you and be able to trust you as you actively continue to withhold information that could matter deeply to them so you can have the life you want? And that’s morally sound to you? And it wouldn’t bother you that you’d never know if they’d accept you for all of you?

If the alternative is people knowing an awful, terrible truth about me then yeah I'd rather just lie. I have spaces where I'm open about being trans, mostly just to other trans people. It does bother me irl, but I do not think that I am worthy of anyone's love, so I just keep pretending that I am. Tbh I don't really have plans to date someone who isn't trans again, I am only going to date trans people in the future. I don't like being dishonest but I'm an order of magnitude more ashamed of being amab than I am of being stealth.

you’d never know if they’d accept you for all of you?

I kinda assume that no one offline would ever accept me for all of me. That's why I don't let anyone offline see or know all of me.

Even if it’s just the language meant to describe and define women, why take that from them?

How do you own a word, how is there any giving or taking? When people say women in general they still think of you, not me. If I use a different word for myself then I just feel like a freak or "other". I want to be normal, to not have to pretend, to just belong without being some weird outsider. If everyone in my life calls me a woman and I don't tell anyone then what am I taking? You should still be able to describe yourself idk, maybe trans women just need to be quieter

It’s not me who offers no recourse for your pain, it’s life. It’s biology. It’s fact.

Then I'll change life, I'll change biology, I'll change fact, I won't just accept this being the way things are? It's horrible.

If there were alternative treatments you very well could still be alive without transition

Alternative treatments I would never have consented to.

Calling someone mentally ill is meant to try to explain that the issue is with the brain

The issue is with the connection between brain and body. If I were female or didn't have a body my quality of life would be much higher. I don't understand how you can simply presume that the mind, that someone's sense of self, must be wrong and must be changed. When the mental issue is due to something physical then physical changes could alleviate it.

The people who try to “cure” you may actually be able to. Maybe not you specifically, but many dysphoric people.

I think that encouraging this on people erases a great deal of culture from the world though. If gender variance is seen as a disease instead of a state of being then everyone will just be "cis" and I find that super depressing and boring?

Is the doctor wrong for keeping you alive against your will?

Yes. Also dysphoria doesn't make someone insane, it doesn't make us not of sound mind. I generally oppose any violation of patient autonomy even if that would include letting someone die.

what is the issue in waiting until you’ve exhausted all other alternatives

All those alternatives do things I would hate and would kill the person that I am today...there's no comfort in trying to make myself be the good Catholic boy my parents wanted, because I wouldn't even be around to experience the peace of not having dysphoria. Someone else living in my body would be, but we'd be so unalike that I don't consider us the same person.

So why should we treat this one disorder by indulging their symptoms when we wouldn’t do that for anyone else?

A lot of other conditions are "indulged" contextually. Have you ever read "the man who mistook his wife for a hat"? I seem to remember stories of patients with a single, odd compulsion that resisted treatment. The best result for them was just to healthily do that compulsion in a way that didn't negatively affect their life. I.e if someone can only be functional by wearing a certain hat every day then it's easier to just let them wear the hat. It's easier to just let people transition. We will do it anyway, there is a huge DIY scene.

Sex matters and becomes relevant in the day to day for a multitude of reasons.

I'll simply avoid as many situations in which it matters as I can. Like the classic one I hear here is sex on IDs, if having the "wrong" marker will get me killed because of the medical treatment I receive in an accident, then yeah I'd rather die than live through the constant embarrassment that was having an M on my license.

Most people aren’t willing to pretend it doesn’t

So you could support the development of transition care so that more people can pass and you won't even have to think about us?