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[–][deleted] 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (4 children)

I don’t feel it’s right for me to compromise on things that other women and even girls don’t want to compromise on. Solidarity and all that.

So if a single woman or girl doesn't compromise on something, then you won't either? I mean I get solidarity but that seems kinda unrealistic?

I guess I alternate in feeling solidarity more with women or more with trans people but ime most from both groups have been okay with my existence? I've met thousands of people online in lots of different places and I can barely remember any time I've met a woman who was GC in a non-GC space. Idk I just ...trans women aren't the enemy and I wish there was some way of showing that that didn't demand I call myself a man x(

You’ve made other comments that indicate you still struggle but I don’t have time to list them.

I do struggle a lot, it's just boring to talk about it and being emotional on here has gotten me hate in the past so idk if I should. And I'm absolutely still being cremated lol, I don't want a GC archaeologist looking at my remains.

Okay… sounds like a personal problem to me

If someone never called you by your name but called you some awful nickname would that just be your personal problem? Or it'd be harassment

Just literally TW aren’t women. It can’t be proven that they are and can be proven that they are not

I either am or I will be eventually x( it can't be proven unless you accept that biology is always more important for definitions than perception.

What you’re seen as and what you are are not always the same thing.

How do you even know what someone is, if not by looking at them or perceiving them? I don't get it

But when the decision is intentional hormonal imbalance you intend to maintain for the rest of your life

Wait, our hormones aren't unbalanced though, they're just exogenously maintained...like my levels are probably more stable than the average person who's not on hormones because it's a regular dosage and not produced by my body.

all for the sake of making you appear to be something you aren’t because you can’t accept that you aren’t

I can't accept what you want me to be, no. That doesn't make me wrong, why should I trust my body over my mind? I've always felt wrong living in it, to make me "accept" it would be a change so drastic that the person who came out wouldn't be me anymore.

I'm looking at it from the perspective of that people should not have to accept personal injustice even if they don't have a complete way of alleviating it yet. "Coping with reality" is just giving in and giving up..

I have my own personal opinions on transition

Tbh I'm curious !

I’m not saying that I think transition shouldn’t be done at all, or that doctors should not help and guide patients through it

Thank you.

Hey sorry if I'm incoherent rn it's quite late and I lose track of the text on my phone. I'll be better next time

[–]loveSloaneDebate King 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

I think the percentage I most see (whether it’s accurate or not) is a 60/40 split. 60% is just not enough women for me to disregard the 40% who aren’t comfortable. That’s still a lot of uncomfortable women.

GC women hang in gc spaces, and there are plenty of GC women who keep their views to themselves in other spaces. Just because you haven’t interacted with or spotted one doesn’t mean they aren’t there if you’re talking about spaces that have nothing to do with gender/sexuality etc.

I know plenty of women who are gc offline but play along online because they enjoy spaces that happen to make people follow specific sub rules or whatever, for what it’s worth.

Im not asking you to get emotional here, I’m just saying that I don’t know if trans people can always see the lasting symptoms of their dysphoria as clearly as people without it (who know what it is) do. It’s not just you, there are several qt I’ve noticed this with. It’s like with other mental health issues, the person dealing with it doesn’t always see what others notice.

If i worked with a trans person I’d use the name they currently use. I just wouldn’t pretend they were the opposite sex. Is pressuring/demanding someone conform to your beliefs acceptable in the work place? I’m not saying that a trans person at my workplace couldn’t call themselves whatever they want and use whatever language suits them- I’m saying I shouldn’t have to participate.

Biology is factual and provable. Perception varies. Biology is significantly more important because it’s accurate and dependable.

When you are eventually biologically a woman, I will call you one.

However- you’d still be trans. And I’d still be uncomfortable about some things.

You act as if people can’t mistake something they see for something it isn’t. It happens all the time. You reach for sugar and end up with salt. You think the fuit in the bowl is real but it’s artificial. You think the person you’re looking at is white but they’re a poc. You think the person in front of you is a female but they’re actually a male.

I know what someone is without looking at them because I know what a man is and what a woman is. I could possibly be mistaken once in a blue moon. That doesn’t alter the reality of the situation.

Males aren’t supposed to have the hormone levels you have, at least they typically don’t. You’re intentionally giving yourself hormone levels your body isn’t supposed to have. I have to come back and find the right wording for this sorry. I’m tired but can’t sleep.

It’s not what I want you to be. It’s what you just factually, biologically, really are. It has nothing to do with me.

There was never anything wrong with your body. The issue is mental. It’s a mental health issue. That’s my whole point. Lots of people who get treatment for mental health issues change- it means you change, not that you aren’t yourself. You don’t know how you’d change so it’s easy to get dramatic and act like you’d be a whole different person. You’d be you, because that’s all you can ever be.

Wtf is personal injustice?

[–][deleted] 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

just saying that I don’t know if trans people can always see the lasting symptoms of their dysphoria as clearly as people without it

I've had this my whole life and I've been lectured by all kinds of people on how what I feel is apparently wrong, it hasn't ever convinced me at all how to change what I feel.

Is pressuring/demanding someone conform to your beliefs acceptable in the work place?

Pressuring someone to respect their coworkers as human beings and not to like, harass them is acceptable, so

Biology is factual and provable.

Why would I let a stranger ever prove to themselves what my biology is though? It's not like my biology is identical to someone who's not on hormones either. I have breasts, the shape of my body has changed, that alone is sufficient to fool people.

However- you’d still be trans

Great to know being trans is an eternal curse that will forever mark me as being a person unworthy of trust who must be assumed dangerous x(

That doesn’t alter the reality of the situation.

We have nothing else though. I can't snap my fingers and be female yet, all I can do is quiet my troubled mind by pretending. like, idk, I'm not oblivious, I try very hard to live inoffensively, but it apparently is not enough and you don't want people to be able to pretend and keep their real sex private?

You’re intentionally giving yourself hormone levels your body isn’t supposed to have

Haha it's okay I was really tired too. Idk why should I care what my body is "supposed" to have, tho That's not even a small comfort, my "natural" hormones made me feel like a zombie. So yeah I intentionally change them, and there isn't anything wrong with that, it's not the "wrong" levels if I'm way more functional.

Does someone who isn't trans, who has low T, being prescribed a T supplement, is doing that creating an imbalance? If being low T is what their body naturally is, then they shouldn't ever change that, apparently eye roll

It’s what you just factually, biologically, really are

Biology is not destiny, I will either be a woman or I will die trying it's that simple, I refuse to let something as silly as being born wrong decide that for me :(

There was never anything wrong with your body. The issue is mental.

And I trust my mind and how I feel on this. Why shouldn't I? The alternative would be accepting that I'm just wrong and I should be male, but I genuinely don't see the point or value in that. My body isn't doing the thinking, it's just...there, the idea that I should treat it as "proof" of what I "am" requires me to discard 20 years of anguish and stop thinking that what I feel matters. I won't do that--i know how I feel, no matter what my body is. So I will not fix it by fixing how I feel, I will fix it by changing my body.

Wtf is personal injustice?

Living in a state where your body and half the world are against you makes me feel like I'm being karmically punished, and kinda inspires me to keep going despite that.

[–]BiologyIsReal 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

My body isn't doing the thinking

But your body IS doing the thinking! All your thoughts are happening inside your brain, which is a part of your body. Your mind doesn't exist independently of your body. And whether you like it or not, your body does influence how you perceive the world. You don't know what it feels like to have a female body anymore than I know what it feels like to be blind. Sure, you could listen to women to get an idea about it, just like I could listen to blind people to understand their experiences; however, you don't have that "lived experience" that you like to talk about. You don't know for instance, what is like worrying about periods (or a lack of them), or whether you may get pregnant, or whether you may be able to access a safe abortion if you ever need it. All that stuff is purely theoretical for you.

And you have yet to tell us why you think you are, or must be, a "woman" besides your own wish to be one. Forget about whether people in your daily life sees you as one or not, why do you started seeing yourself that way before you taked any step to modify your body? I mean, I doubt people in your daily life saw you as "woman" before you tried to physically resemble one, so what did "make" you one back then if no one viewed you that way?

[–][deleted] 1 insightful - 2 fun1 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

You don't know what it feels like to have a female body anymore than I know what it feels like to be blind

I never claimed to and I don't need to to know how I feel.

Your mind doesn't exist independently of your body

It could, in future. I could transfer my consciousness to a computer or some other substrate, my body is just a shell.

You don't know for instance, what is like worrying about periods (or a lack of them), or whether you may get pregnant, or whether you may be able to access a safe abortion if you ever need it. All that stuff is purely theoretical for you.

None of those things are universal to all women either. And when I was a kid when I thought I would grow up to be a woman naturally, I did worry about those things or the lack of those things. I don't need to have every single experience linked to being female, to be a woman, any more than you or anyone else does. Just because I was raised as a boy and I've had surgery doesn't mean I haven't had experiences in common with other women. I have!

I mean, I doubt people in your daily life saw you as "woman" before you tried to physically resemble one, so what did "make" you one back then if no one viewed you that way?

Of course not, that's why I started changing my body. Knowing I am is not enough if I can never express it. Do you need a reason to call yourself a woman? You can say it's your body, or your experiences, but if those magically changed you'd still be the same you. And then it'd be you knowing in your heart how you're supposed to be and dealing with the pain of having to inch towards that.

I'm not sure why I feel the way I do. When I was little I thought I would grow up to be a woman, I had an imaginary friend who was that imagined future self. Then it became, well maybe all boys wanted to be girls and I'm normal. Then when I found out that's not the case I used to pray to be different and to start my life over. And now I'm here, for a few years now, realizing that no one is going to get me what I need but myself.

I can't describe why any more than I can describe knowing what my favorite color is, or that I'm a nerd who loves cats. Maybe there's a reason buried deep but, it's not very important to me.