Identity

submitted by loveSloaneDebate King from self.GCdebatesQT

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[–]circlingmyownvoid2 2 insightful - 2 fun2 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 2 fun -  (3 children)

I can’t speak for peaking but as far as the feeling wrong it’s hard to articulate, I just knew.

Like when someone moves a piece of furniture after a decade and the next time you walk In the room it just feels wrong.

[–]loveSloaneDebate King[S] 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

I guess what I don’t get is that, I get moving furniture and that throwing off the way the room feels- but your “furniture” wasn’t ever moved when you felt wrong. If you started out life as a female person, somehow changed to male and then felt out of place- I get that. But you started out in the place of discomfort without any frame of reference for how it feels to be in the other position (still using the furniture analogy, it’s not going well for me lol).

That’s what my thing always is- I absolutely understand feeling discomfort, I even understand wanting to be the opposite sex/gender, even understand the hormones and possible surgery to present as the opposite sex/gender- I do not and can not understand the leap to claiming to actually be or identify with/as something you just literally have not ever inhabited to understand in any real way. Even post transition, trans people will never know what it truly feels like to be the opposite sex/gender no matter how they are perceived/treated, because they will always factually be the sex they were born and will only be able to view life through that lens. Meaning, even if you (hypothetical you, not you) look female, you’re still a male person who looks female and that is what you’re experiencing- not actually being female and experiencing being female. That difference matters in a lot of ways and for a lot of reasons. And I think that the inability of TW to understand that significant difference is the root of a lot of the growing animosity and the drop in support.

[–]circlingmyownvoid2 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

I was just trying to communicate that feeing of wrongness. It’s that but 24/7 for whole pieces of your body. I’m not saying it’s caused the same way just that it’s the closest analogue I have for the feeing that I can express.

As to the rest, I know what feels bad and what feels right. I do think of myself as a woman but even if i didn’t, can you fathom the terrible self esteem required to define yourself as an imposter deserving of lesser treatment? That’s essentially what you are asking of us. Consider ourselves imposters and accept that we should treated as imposters. Surely you see how no person would want that for themselves.

[–]kwallio 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I think for many people the feeling of wrongness that you feel doesn't necessarily mean that you are something else. Being or feeling wrong doesn't logically progress to "and that meant I'm something else". You can feel all sorts of feelings about your body without necessarily making the leap to "and therefore I'm something else". I don't get that leap also, like lovesloan says despite everything you don't really understand what its like to be a female.