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QT: Why do you care so much if other people believe your chosen "identities"?

submitted by BiologyIsReal from self.GCdebatesQT

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[–]circlingmyownvoid2 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (23 children)

If you're really so confident in you identity as you claim, why do you need so much external validation?

It’s basic human respect. Calling someone something that they consider an insult or that doesn’t apply to them is something people don’t like. Even without bringing gender into it. Calling someone a geek or a Christian or a metal head or literally anything that they feel doesn’t discribe them or even more so something that they feel is exactly the opposite of them.

Everything dealing with Men is anathema to me, obviously I wouldn’t want to be called that. And it’s worse when neutral alternatives are available if you can’t respect my identity.

At minimum it’s putting a label on my I disagree with and consider an insult. I’m secure in my identity but that doesn’t mean I’m happy to be referred to by things that are incompatible with that identity.

[–]BiologyIsReal[S] 5 insightful - 2 fun5 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 2 fun -  (22 children)

Your reaction to what I said the other day was completely disproportionated. That is not how I react when I'm mistaken for a man. QT posters here constantly dismiss my knowledge and I still don't get THAT mad. Even when QT say or imply I'm part of a hate group I don't get THAT mad...

[–]circlingmyownvoid2 2 insightful - 2 fun2 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 2 fun -  (21 children)

I wasn’t mad. I made a post because I think you abused you openly ignore the rules while being a mod. Anger had nothing to do with it. Role sets expectation and I expect mods to follow the rules to a higher standard.

[–]FlippyKingSadly this sub welcomes rape apologists and victim blaming. Bye! 2 insightful - 2 fun2 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 2 fun -  (20 children)

have you apologized to the rape victim you mocked by expecting her to have sympathy for the rapist she broke the nose of? have you apologized to the forum for that act, as it was done here? have you no decency to offset your conceit?

[–]circlingmyownvoid2 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (19 children)

I never said a rape victim should have sympathy for their rapist. But I’ve been specifically told not to talk about it.

[–]HouseplantWomen who disagree with QT are a different sex 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (6 children)

How is saying im a moral failure if I don’t help a rapist not saying I needed to give them sympathy? Don’t escape the tiny confined space! Help the boys who just held you down and penetrated your vagina stop their nosebleeds cause it’s owie.

What about that isn’t demanding I give them sympathy? You didn’t use that particular word? That’s how you weasel out of personal responsibility for being a misogynist and rapist supporter?

[–]MarkTwainiac 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Houseplant, I am very sorry this happened to you

By saying you had "a moral duty" to help the rapist whose nose you broke, CMOV seems in my view to be suggesting that the broken nose a male experiences in the course of raping a girl or woman is just as bad as, or worse than, the injury/harm he has caused his female victim by assaulting and raping her. CMOV seems to think you should have put the rapist's wellbeing before your own or on the same plane as your own.

Also, CMOV is showing shocking unawareness of, or total lack of regard for, the abject terror, shock and trauma girls/women experience during and after rape. As if after rape, we're all so calm, cool and collected that we are capable of thinking in terms of our "moral duty" to others. Moreover, the suggestion seems to be that part of female rape victims' "moral duty" is to process our pain and trauma at warp speed so we can hurry up attend to our assailant's welfare and "be kind."

This reminds me of Mridul Wadhwa, the TRA head of Edinburgh Rape Crisis who called rape victims "transphobic bigots" and said women who've been raped have a duty to "reframe their trauma" so as not to feel or express any ire towards anyone male that might distress or discomfit other males.

Fuck that. A girl or woman who has just been raped has no "moral duty" to anyone except herself.

[–]HouseplantWomen who disagree with QT are a different sex 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Thankyou!! That’s exactly how it feels when he defends his stance, like i was wrong to protect myself instead of some monstrous boys. He may as well have asked if I did anything to deserve it. Feels like the same level of blame and disregard for the survivor and none for the perpetrators.

Amazes me that masks can claim til the cows come home that men are monsters and he’s a woman so not a monster, but then fail so hard at even pretending to empathise or sympathise with an actual woman.

It’s a disturbing trend I’m noticing amongst discussions online around rape. More and more women are being told to think about how dehumanising it is to misgender their own rapists, or condemned for refusing to drop their guard around males because that male might feel badly about it. No idea if I’m just seeing it more or if it’s happening more but it’s scary.

[–]FlippyKingSadly this sub welcomes rape apologists and victim blaming. Bye! 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (8 children)

Yea you did, and you just violated the whole "I've been specifically told not to talk about it" thing by lying about what you did.

[–]FlippyKingSadly this sub welcomes rape apologists and victim blaming. Bye! 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

Oh! So YOU'RE THE LYING ABOUT WHAT YOU SAID!!!! no surprise. There is a huge difference between talking about someone's moral duty and calling them a moral failure. How are you not banned from being here? Oh, by the kindness of Houseplant for not asking for it. But you've yet to apologize? Just as well, you could not really mean any apology you'd give now. You've been beyond that for a while.