1. No.
2. Early twenties.
3. Living through both indoctrination and deconversion has made me very sensitive to coercion.
4. I think there are cultish elements on both sides, though it's worse and tinged with violence on the gender identity side.

I think when there is debate it's infinitely better than religious debate, from what I experienced of "apologetics" anyhow. We don't all acknowledge the same authorities, which keeps things interesting. We aren't fixated on any one book or person. If that's what you mean by "religious debate," anyhow. Debates between the religious and nonreligious are more akin to debating gender identity, and there can be something hypnotic and beautiful in both categories when done well.