GC: What should the limits be on erotic consumption and sexual behavior?

submitted by worried19 from self.GCdebatesQT

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[–]theory_of_thisan actual straight crossdresser 3 insightful - 6 fun3 insightful - 5 fun4 insightful - 6 fun -  (5 children)

I do think there has to be hard limits.

But most this is fringe purity politics.

Also everything legal is not always right. A person can be emotionally cruel, a bad person, without it being illegal. Such is life. We can't institute laws for every moral failure.

Regarding the purity of feminists I think this gets at some of the fundamental issues with proper Radical Feminism, it's ultra exclusive and starts from an unrealistic model of the world. Even feminists who take time to join radical feminist debate can't agree on how pure it should be because it's so far from how most people function. This leaves only a tiny percentage of the population that can pass the purity test.

That model of the world doesn't hold up and the people can't live up to it.

Too many people at a basic level enjoy at least some porn, mild bdsm, entertain politically incorrect fantasies, enjoy fetishized gender models. That's just how people are. Most people in liberal nations recognise that. You can't police every consensual bedroom fantasy.

Also everyone engaging in these things aren't bad people. The men and women in these categories are essentially the majority and they aren't the monsters or agency free victims. They are average people.

Exiling people who have done anything "tainted" is classic cult purity spiral stuff.

But there has to be limits and a recognition of good and bad behaviour.

On a personal level I recall female friends quizzing me on porn use. But really me saying I didn't use porn was not for the reasons they were hoping for.

EDIT oops just realise this was GC only

[–]worried19[S] 9 insightful - 1 fun9 insightful - 0 fun10 insightful - 1 fun -  (4 children)

This leaves only a tiny percentage of the population that can pass the purity test.

Frankly, I think I'm pretty "pure" but apparently not enough for some.

Also everyone engaging in these things aren't bad people.

Eh, debatable. There are many bad people in the world. That doesn't mean everyone is a depraved monster. Those are just the worst of the worst. It doesn't mean the others are good.

On a personal level I recall female friends quizzing me on porn use. But really me saying I didn't use porn was not for the reasons they were hoping for.

Good point. The question should be why a man doesn't watch porn. There are many who stop watching for purely self-interested reasons. They don't care about the abuse or exploitation of women at all. I'd rather a respectful man look at a naked photo on Reddit than deal with a disrespectful man who still gets off on violence but chooses not to watch porn because it desensitizes his penis.

[–]BiologyIsReal 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

I'd rather a respectful man look at a naked photo on Reddit

I doubt such man really exists. If men are watching porn, it doesn't end with them just looking to nude photos. They are watching far more and far worse. It's not like the violent stuff is hard to find. And there is no lack of other men telling each other that it's all "harmeless fun" and that porn is "free speech" and anyone who says otherwise should not be listened to.

[–]worried19[S] 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Well, it's not like every man is watching the worst stuff out there. My partner and I talked about porn in depth, and without getting into TMI, I know what he likes, and it's not violent. He also doesn't watch anything with men in it, just women by themselves or together. This was back when we were both interested in porn, so around age 19 to 22, we talked about it several times. We haven't had a discussion in a while, but we have discussed all other aspects of sex, and he's reassured me (because I'm so fucking paranoid) he doesn't get turned on by misogyny or violence. I have to trust him on that. I would be devastated to learn otherwise, but I truly do not think it's in his nature. He's never betrayed even the slightest hint of that in our sex life.

[–]theory_of_thisan actual straight crossdresser 4 insightful - 5 fun4 insightful - 4 fun5 insightful - 5 fun -  (1 child)

Frankly, I think I'm pretty "pure" but apparently not enough for some.

This is the nature of purity spirals.

Eh, debatable. There are many bad people in the world. That doesn't mean everyone is a depraved monster. Those are just the worst of the worst. It doesn't mean the others are good.

But we can't pass laws about it all was more my point there.

Good point. The question should be why a man doesn't watch porn. There are many who stop watching for purely self-interested reasons. They don't care about the abuse or exploitation of women at all. I'd rather a respectful man look at a naked photo on Reddit than deal with a disrespectful man who still gets off on violence but chooses not to watch porn because it desensitizes his penis.

I can understand that.

Just realised this was GC only. My mistake. Though I'm all for these debates.

I think a lot of QT or liberal side don't always think these things through or don't grasp them.

[–]worried19[S] 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

But we can't pass laws about it all was more my point there.

Oh yeah, definitely not. The law should only deal with the most egregious circumstances of harm. If a man kills or seriously injures a woman during violent sex, he should be afforded no excuse. But I don't think the law needs to intrude into the bedroom otherwise.

Just realised this was GC only. My mistake. Though I'm all for these debates.

No worries, everyone is welcome to chime in.