Do you think women and men could choose not to be neither the sumissive or the dominant one in a relationship?

Yes.

I do not think sex or relationships are entirely about erotic power relations.

I just think people are prone to eroticising power in mild or strong ways, often gendered.

It appears very common.

In other words, do you think a relationship could not be based in power plays?

Yes I think it can be based on equality or at least not driven by a strongly sex power games at all.

I think sexual attraction is based on a number of things. Physical attraction, personality but I don't think they are generally identical for men and women. I do think masculinity and femininity often play a role in sexuality. That being separate from power.

I do think non sexual power is likely always being negotiate in relationships. I don't think it's a thing that can be ignored.

Do you think someone can consent to abuse?

I find that too charged a question.

Do I think people are in abusive relationships? Yes. Do I think all consent is valid? No. People might consent to something that is wrong and illegal.

People have fantasises they do not want to come true. That does not make them bad broken people.

People have all kinds of fantasises, act out things in bedrooms without being terrible broken people.

For all that consumption of porn and erotic literature they are not broken on that level. They are in fact happy.

Do you think abuse is erotic and desirable?

I think do a lot of people find power erotic. We might think it wrong but it appears so common and a normal part of life.

It has to be carefully handled.

Do you think women must accept to be dominated by men because is "natural"?

No. Firmly not.

A tendency is not universal. An "is" is not an "ought."

I do think people need to be educated. Adults need to be aware of dangers of behaviours and be responsible caring lovers.

BTW, there is no "sex work", only sexual slavery. "Sex work" is a euphemism used by pimps to normalise and, eventually, legalise prostitution.

I recall hearing Julie Bindel on this she was saying there are women who are forced in to this activity and there are middle class women who are playing in some kind of recreation for kicks. I think there is truth in that. I don't think sex can be normalised as any other job because sex is so emotional and open to abuse. I don't think it a healthy form of relations.

I can see it's possibly therapeutic in places, maybe. I don't want to be the person telling women the can't sell sex either. But it's not something I think is mentally healthy, for everyone.