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[–][deleted] 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I'm not sure exactly how that can happen midlife but I suspect it can for anyone. But I never think it's an active choice.

Jane discovering she's a lesbian midlife and (let's say) having a masc makeover isn't a compulsion. There's no "butch starter kit" she needs to buy.

If she chooses to alter her appearance and presentation to mark her coming out (rock it, Jane), that's a voluntary action. It isn't compulsory, it isn't correlative of her sexual orientation, and it definitely isn't necessary.

People absolutely can change how they express themselves midlife, but, to repeat, gender expression and sexual orientation are fundamentally different. Lesbian is what Jane is. Grooming and dressing and adopting mannerisms that signal within a given gay subculture is what Jane does (or doesn't do). They're not fused realities, and there's no causal relationship.