You're going to find that those people are the people outright denying the existence of gender stereotypes. They are right in the sense that it's just a concept, made up by humans needing to categorise things and at the end of the day, we're all humans, but they are wrong in thinking that these words and made up concepts, contribute no value in how we should universally articulate and analyse the group's behaviour, attitudes and their rationale.

They don't so much blame "feminity", (as far as I have seen so far) but "toxic masculinity". They blame the misogynistic system set up by males that has mainly oppressed women into lesser roles throughout different periods of time and essentially made women dependent on males and fostered a culture of multilevel abuse and exploitation (from outright where we can all see it or something subtle that it's hard to see the clear line) of women that is continuing into today's psyche (e.g. women are still percieved as being incapable of technical skills such as programming, women are expected to think about how to manage finances and maintain the house when their husbands should be doing the exact same thing as well). They think that males today are perpetuating weaker, dependent attitudes to define femininty, what they don't understand that some women are also encouraging it themselves and often that's without an intentional push from males (some males express they like weaker women, some express they like stronger women and the onky ones who care are stupid). However, I'm saying this in a first-world western country perspective, you go to a backwater third world country and you are more likely to get something a bit more extreme where some societies care about treating girls and women as properties and denying their right to get the same opportunities as the males which seek to have a free living sex doll, housekeeper and babymaker, but no matter, it doesn't invalidate the observations of the behaviours, perspectives, beliefs and interactions females and males have amongst with themselves and with each other (and yes, that can be worded, much shorter, by using the words "femininty" and "masculinity").

You see how I use those sexist words they hate right? If those words didn't exist then it would be harder to identify and communicate specific gender issues to people. Now what many do not see is that, just because those words, spoken in a sociological analysis context exist, it doesn't mean we are as bound by a bunch of labels as they think and need to learn to stop being sensitive if we're still calling female police officers "policeman".

I understand I veered off a bit, but I'm trying to explain it's not masculinity they want and nor do they hate femininity as they claim, as they're expressing hate, but it's the fact they hate the gender stereotypes that existed as a result of male oppression and are still existing in many societies psyche, however, they don't seem to realise that slowly, these stereotypes people percieve impact them a lot less than they think and they are slowly changing for the better. There's some validity to their claim, but they're also socially tone-death about communication and ignorant about human thought processess and seek to pick a battle with how humans communicate that makes the feminism movement look like a joke (e.g. restructuring an entire language which has words that are categorised as "feminine" and "masculine" thinking that will make massive impact in improving gender equality).