Do you agree or disagree? 🤔

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[–]loveSloaneDebate King 10 insightful - 1 fun10 insightful - 0 fun11 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

YES!

[–]censorshipment[S] 4 insightful - 6 fun4 insightful - 5 fun5 insightful - 6 fun -  (2 children)

You're black, too right? I got this from the BlackMentalHealth subreddit where we don't blame other people for how we feel i.e. we acknowledge that we are mentally ill.

https://www.reddit.com/r/BlackMentalHealth/comments/mjjkpt/do_yall_agree_or_nah/

[–]loveSloaneDebate King 13 insightful - 1 fun13 insightful - 0 fun14 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Yes I’m black and yes I get exactly where you’re coming from. But sometimes I wonder if the problem with qt/trans is that they know their triggers, but expect everyone in the world to tiptoe around their triggers for them.

[–]censorshipment[S] 6 insightful - 6 fun6 insightful - 5 fun7 insightful - 6 fun -  (0 children)

Well yes... the entitled ones do that, of course. When I identified as a guy, I wasn't under the delusion that black people would give a fuck about my dysphoria and preferred male name, lmao, so I had to be less triggered which eventually helped me snap the fuck out of that shit. I lacked entitlement which made a difference.

[–]loveSloaneDebate King 7 insightful - 2 fun7 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

Double commenting, my bad

This is a huge part of the reason I’m always asking if trans people are taught coping mechanisms while they’re “transitioning” or preparing to “transition”.

I feel like even if someone passes and aren’t triggered personally/directly, they’ll still encounter triggering situations or possibly overhear triggering remarks.

[–]GenderbenderShe/her/hers 3 insightful - 4 fun3 insightful - 3 fun4 insightful - 4 fun -  (3 children)

It depends on the context. Sometimes people are justified being upset at something you said and this could be used for victim-blaming.

[–]loveSloaneDebate King 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

I think you’ve missed the point. It’s not saying that any and everything that offends you is just you taking it the wrong way. It’s not victim blaming. It’s pointing out that some things aren’t disrespectful just because you may feel some type of way about it.

[–]GenderbenderShe/her/hers 2 insightful - 3 fun2 insightful - 2 fun3 insightful - 3 fun -  (1 child)

That's why I said it depends on the context.

[–]loveSloaneDebate King 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

The context is stuff that’s not disrespectful, but that you interpret as disrespectful because of your triggers. That’s... the whole point. This applies specifically to that type of situation, and only to that type of situation.

So there’s no victim blaming

[–][deleted] 3 insightful - 2 fun3 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

Acting like you don’t intend hurt to trans women when you do things like call them men is a smokescreen. Intended emotional pain is intended emotional pain no matter how you gladhand it.

[–]peakingatthemomentTranssexual (natal male), HSTS 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Yes. I think sometimes it can be hard to do it in the moment, but I feel like the better we know ourselves and reflect on the things that trigger us we can behave in healthier and less defensive ways. Hopefully we get better over time become more empathetic.

[–]worried19 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I agree, but I think it depends on the intent of the speaker. In a political debate, referring to a biologically female person as female (or vice versa) is not an intent to insult. It's an attempt to speak with clarity. If a natal female is denying they're female, there's no point in even attempting to have a discussion since the basic fact of biological reality is being denied.

Now if you were to say directly to a trans man, "you're a woman with a mental illness, deal with it" or "you'll never be a man" or statements like that, that seems more like an attempt to elicit an emotional response from the person in question. Being a woman isn't insulting, but if the person is insistent that they aren't a woman, it could feel that way. And there's no reason to be that aggressive with it. If the person acknowledges biological reality, they already concede they were born female. Trying to hammer it in seems unnecessary.

[–][deleted] 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I agree, I think that's very important for everyone to know how to do. Concomitantly, learning this and internalizing it about ourselves hopefully might give way to interact even more conscientiously and sympathetically towards others, knowing perhaps how much we ourselves might have struggled with this concept. Knowing this truth seems like an inevitable catalyst for kindness!