QT: Why are people not allowed to feel disappointed when someone transitions?

submitted by questioningtw from self.GCdebatesQT

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[–]GenderbenderShe/her/hers 3 insightful - 5 fun3 insightful - 4 fun4 insightful - 5 fun -  (12 children)

Because it's not about you. Their lifestyle, their bodies, their choice. Also, GC's tone sounds like they're trying to guilt trans men about transitioning. I don't know if that’s their intention, but that's how it comes across. My family was against me going on anti-depressants, and stated their feelings openly. While they were entitled to their feelings, that will not affect my medical decisions and if they continued to tell me they disapproved of my decision, I would have cut contact with them.

There is another interesting about GC. When trans women are celebrities, GC complains only trans women are getting attention over trans men, like in this thread. So you'd think they'd be happy "finally trans men are getting attention instead of trans women" but nope. To me it seems like when GC says trans men get more attention than trans women, they essentially are complaining males are getting all the attention (they view trans women as men). They are not saying this out of a genuine desire to have more trans men in public positions like acting and political roles. GC is anti-trans.

[–]CatbugMods allow rape victim blaming in this sub :) 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (11 children)

Of course we don’t want trans men getting more limelight. That doesn’t make it weird to be disappointed when men are given women’s roles or spaces lmao. You make the most ridiculous jumps to horn in your little “gs hates trans” thing into any and every conversation.

Why would any gc person want more transmen getting attention? Do you even know what gender critical is?

[–]GenderbenderShe/her/hers 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (10 children)

I didn't say GCs hate trans, I said GCs are anti-trans, meaning they espouse an anti-trans sentiment frequently seen in Ovarit and other GC communities. Being upset there are trans men celebrities is one example.

[–]CatbugMods allow rape victim blaming in this sub :) 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (9 children)

Righto. I get ya.

So lesbians shouldn’t be disappointed that a proud lesbian has now stated they are a man not a lesbian? Is it really anti trans to be saddened by the loss of a well known visible figure who succeeded as a lesbian?

[–]GenderbenderShe/her/hers 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (8 children)

Maybe she wasn't a proud lesbian? Maybe she always felt like a man internally and just came out? Maybe she will be happier as a man? Though to an extent the sadness is understandable since she was one of the few prominent lesbians. I hope there are more prominent gays, lesbians and trans men in the coming years.

[–]CatbugMods allow rape victim blaming in this sub :) 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (7 children)

So we should ignore her saying she’s proud to be a lesbian because maybe it was a lie?

Why is her identity as a man correct but her being a lesbian is wrong? What if she says she’s a lesbian again in a few years? Does that become correct again?

Her being happier as a man isn’t relevant to someone being dissapointed to lose a prominent lesbian role model.

[–]GenderbenderShe/her/hers 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (6 children)

It's OK to be disappointed at losing a prominent lesbian role model. However, the Ovarit comments go beyond that. They are literally guilting him for being trans and many comments are openly transphobic. There are a few threads on Ovarit about Elliot Page. Let me give examples from this thread which has 385 comments.

This is literal conversion therapy.

I hate letting this stuff get to me in real life but this fucking stings. her talking about finding her "authentic self" while rejecting her womanhood and lesbianism and sending a harmful, incorrect message to young lesbians/gnc girls that you cannot just be gnc, you must be trans or nonbinary or just other - anything other than the shame of being a lesbian woman, let alone a gender nonconforming one. and still, despite this terrible message she's sending, i feel so sorry for her too for falling victim to this homophobic, misogynistic cult.

Oh look, another Hollywood narcissist advancing their career. What a good fit for the TRA narcissists. In fact, they’re perfect for each other. How stunning and brave™️

People know a stunt when they see one.

I’m cancelling Netflix.

It's distressing that someone so talented beautiful and successful can also be so obviously a mental case.

"Hate" here being a word describing sadness from women and mostly lesbians who are shattered by her deeply misogynistic and lesbophobic move.

People are dying around the world from COVID, infection and death rates are spiking in US, but let's worry about pronouns and your gender identity. Yep, priorities.

It's interesting all the way on the way bottom a user wrote "The response to this is making me sad and another time when I can see why people assume we’re all hateful bigots. I thought we acknowledged that gender disphoria is a real disorder that sometimes requires transition as treatment while maintaining that biological sex is a constant and sex-exclusive spaces should be respected." This person got downvoted and one user even replied "Gender dysphoria my whole ass."

Dysphoria is when your brain tells you you're meant to be another sex. I am a woman who was born female. The idea of me being mail recoils me. If I was born male, I would transition. That's the downside of being trans, extreme body modification. But I understand why people do it and I would do it to if I had dysphoria. I know GC says all women feel discomfort with their body. I did too at one point but I never had dysphoria. That's something totally different and currently the best treatment is transition. But most GCs don't believe in dysphoria, or gender identity so this might be a hard thing for many to understand.

[–]CatbugMods allow rape victim blaming in this sub :) 9 insightful - 1 fun9 insightful - 0 fun10 insightful - 1 fun -  (5 children)

We believe on dysphoria, just not that anyone else should be expected to cater to ones dysphoria.

It’s not hard to understand at all.

[–]GenderbenderShe/her/hers 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (4 children)

But there are MANY examples of posts where GC outright says or implies dysphoria doesn't exist.

[–]reluctant_commenter 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

Just curious-- do you have any examples?

I ask because while I agree with many GC ideas and am against gender ideology, I don't participate in GC communities or describe myself as GC for the reason that they can sometimes be dismissive towards mentally ill people (among others).

[–]yousaythosethings 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

What I will say is that I believe that gender dysphoria is real and is something very commonly felt by LGB people. That being said, it has been defined in the DSM V way too broadly, which is going to draw a lot of criticism naturally. Pretty much to the point that “if gay, then dysphoric.” I also think the current state of gender activism and encourage people to a actively think about their gender and whether they’re really men or really women creates its own type of dysphoria.

I also think with Ellen Page there is evidence that gender dysphoria was not the main or only cause of her new claiming a NB/trans identity. She is most certainly having some kid of mental breakdown and seems to be surrounded by vultures who are using her and creating or contributing to dysphoria.