QT: Why are people not allowed to feel disappointed when someone transitions?

submitted by questioningtw from self.GCdebatesQT

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[–]peakingatthemomentTranssexual (natal male), HSTS 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

I’m not QT, but trans. I feel like people should be allowed to be disappointed or feel however they are going to feel. It is sad that those feelings aren’t allowed for often times.

I feel like it’s natural for parents to feel sad. I think I would really struggle with it if my child transitioned (even if I thought it was the right thing).

I don’t feel like you become another person. We’re still the same people. My mother once said something early on that she would miss insert Peaking’s birth name and it really broke my heart because I was right there and I hadn’t gone anywhere. I don’t know if other people feel differently, but I feel like I’m still that boy too. Those parts of your life are still a part of you even if they were hard.

[–][deleted] 1 insightful - 3 fun1 insightful - 2 fun2 insightful - 3 fun -  (2 children)

My mother once said something early on that she would miss insert Peaking’s birth name and it really broke my heart because I was right there and I hadn’t gone anywhere.

I feel entirely different. I consider my pretransition self dead. It’s a costume I finally got to cast off and good riddance. I sincerely want people to completely separate me from that facade when they think of me.

I’m not saying you are wrong to feel how you do, just that I feel differently.

[–]peakingatthemomentTranssexual (natal male), HSTS 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Thanks for sharing! I feel like that’s such a harsh view to take though. 😟

Were you really different before?

I don’t feel like I was other than dealing with dysphoria making me anxious and depressed. After, I was still me, just happier and able to be comfortable. I was feminine though and couldn’t really pass for straight so maybe it wasn’t the same as for others.

[–][deleted] 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I was the same inside but no one knew me. They knew a front I was putting up because I knew no one would accept me if they knew the actual me.

Now I’m actually me and that facade is a distant memory I would just as soon have everyone forget.