Both: How do you feel about the push for people to state preferred pronouns?

submitted by peakingatthemomentTranssexual (natal male), HSTS from self.GCdebatesQT

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[–]worried19 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (7 children)

Are they forcing you to do it, or just asking?

I think it's wrong. Gender identity is like sexual orientation. It's a personal matter and your company has no right to demand private information like that. Mandatory pronouns not only force gender critical feminists to go against their political beliefs, but also religious people to go against their religious beliefs, and puts GNC people and stealth or closeted trans people in an awkward position.

I would never give my pronouns. If my company didn't accept my answer that I'm not comfortable talking about gender in public, then I'd look for a new job. I know it sounds easy to say that, but I'm not about to let myself be bullied on the matter.

[–]peakingatthemomentTranssexual (natal male), HSTS[S] 9 insightful - 1 fun9 insightful - 0 fun10 insightful - 1 fun -  (4 children)

I agree. It’s a personal thing and it feels wrong for someone to insist you reveal something about yourself like that. It shouldn’t be assumed that we all believe in gender identity. You can treat trans people well and not believe in the ideology.

They are just asking right now. It’s tough though because you don’t want to be seen as not being like a team player by not doing it (and everyone else is). I really don’t want to do it though. If I put she/her, I’d be telling people they have to call me that which isn’t how I see pronouns and if I put he/him or they/them I feel like I’d be seen as mocking because I don’t mean it so 🤷‍♀️. I’m just not doing anything right now.

[–]worried19 9 insightful - 1 fun9 insightful - 0 fun10 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

Not to mention, there's data that says when women are reminded that they're female, they perform less well on tasks. And when others are reminded other people are female, they expect less from them and see them as less competent. There are studies on that. So forcing women to give "she/her" pronouns could also be a catalyst for treating us worse. Which obviously isn't something that should be encouraged in a work environment.

If I were you, I'd just abstain for now. You could also maybe approach your boss at some point and explain how it feels from a trans perspective, although I don't know if you'd be comfortable outing yourself like that at work.

[–]peakingatthemomentTranssexual (natal male), HSTS[S] 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I remember learning about that in college. Just in general, I think it’s better not to reminded of your sex in another way because I feel like it’s super inescapable as it is and it’s not something that helps you professionally.

I think I’m just not going to do anything and hope they don’t say anything about it. I don’t feel like I want to come out as trans to work.

[–]adungitit 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Shouldn't this also be a sign to stop using gendered names and mr/mrs as well, as well as other gendered language?

[–]worried19 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

That wouldn't be a bad thing. Gendered names and gendered titles also seem unnecessary.

[–]loveSloaneDebate King 8 insightful - 2 fun8 insightful - 1 fun9 insightful - 2 fun -  (1 child)

I got carried away and forgot the work environment part lol. This is how I feel about that aspect too. It’s unprofessional and goes against the religious and personal freedom of individuals imo. You always word things so well.

[–]worried19 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Hey, thanks. And yeah, I just view it as politics intruding in a space that should be neutral and non-political. They wouldn't force people to state their religion or political party at work.