I'm attracted to cis men and trans men who are well passing and post op. If they aren't post op I won't do anything with their genitals.

Same, I think. I can definitely find transmen attractive although even post-OP I worry that everything might not work right or be the same, but I really don’t know.

Though if another woman is OK with him having a vagina, I wouldn't call her bisexual unless she dates women.

I think this is where you get into problems. I feel like labeling a homosexual relationship as something other than homosexual is erasure. Also, LGB people should be able to have their own boundaries and not have to include opposite sex people in their communities regardless of gender identity. If people want to privately think of their relationship as something other than what it is actually, that is fine (many here would probably say I do this), but demanding inclusion from others or demanding your relationship is viewed a certain way by others is disrespectful to their boundaries.

She is still primarily attracted to opposite sex characteristics. The key word is primarily.

I don’t see how you can talk about being primarily attracted to the opposite sex and exclude genitals from that. Genitals have to be part of “primarily” to me, unless they just aren’t having sex.