GC: What is the best or most important thing trans people or transsexuals can do to help you?

submitted by peakingatthemomentTranssexual (natal male), HSTS from self.GCdebatesQT

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[–]loveSloaneDebate King 21 insightful - 3 fun21 insightful - 2 fun22 insightful - 3 fun -  (3 children)

Stop anything that even comes close to compelled speech, stop lying on legal documents, be clear that you’re trans outside of professional environments (I’m sorry- I think friends in addition to lovers have a right to know because it could change what people are comfortable talking to you about and other things- tbc, this doesn’t mean go up to a bartender in a bar and say “hi! I’m trans let me get a gin and tonic” it means in personal relationships people should have a right to know- I wold never speak to someone again if I confided in them thinking they were female and later found out they were not, for a few reasons) and leave women’s/female rights, sports, and spaces entirely alone. Also- any claims made publicly (whether it’s saying TW aren’t safe in men’s bathrooms, suicide rates, or even comparisons to intersex conditions etc) should be required to be cited and proven instead of just stated as if it’s fact.

And leave children alone to grow and develop naturally- no hormones no blockers no surgery- let them grow up and figure things out without being influenced.

Obligatory “not all trans people do these things”

Basically do what you gotta do for you but don’t force or drag anyone into participating unless they want to

[–]peakingatthemomentTranssexual (natal male), HSTS[S] 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

Thanks for your response! I hope I do most of those things.

I appreciate you giving your honest opinion on friends too. I do have some friends who know, but, with one exception who I came out to, they are friends I’ve know since grade school, so they know since they knew me before. I’ve sort of though about it like a medical history thing more than something really important about me now, but I understand others might not see if that way and I appreciate your perspective. I don’t want to make anyone participate in anything they don’t want to, but I’m not always sure what that means for me. I have a hard time with the idea that I should be marked as trans in some way because that seems othering and that I would make things difficult, but I feel like the more I have these conversations it seems like that is what many GC people want (even if they want me to be the one to do it).

[–]comradeconradical 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

I'm curious, though- isn't being trans inherently being an 'other'? As in, rejecting your birth sex and attempting to assimilate with a sex that you aren't? Is it really so wrong to acknowledge the fact that your life and experiences are those of a trans person rather than a 'cis' person? And does it need to be a bad thing?

I think all GC would be happy if transwomen would admit they are transwomen, not women, and therefore there are many aspects of being female that do not and cannot apply to them.

[–]peakingatthemomentTranssexual (natal male), HSTS[S] 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Being trans is like being an other sort of, but it doesn’t always have to be that way socially.

Speaking only for myself, my childhood was really tough due to being how I was, but once I was allowed to pass as a girl/women things were better for me and I was able to just focus on living my life. I was suddenly accepted without having to try to change myself or be hurt by others. It allowed me to have a relatively normal life. I just don’t know if it would be the same if I had to be out as trans to everyone.

There are differences between someone like me and a natal female and also transwomen more generally and women. I don’t mind acknowledging that. Transwomen should not insist we are women. I’m just scared of giving up the only way of living my life that’s ever worked for me (that is, being a woman socially because I’m read as female).