I understand that there’s risk to outing yourself- my whole thing is, does the risk of outing yourself or othering yourself matter more than the personal boundaries of others? I feel like so many issues concerning transwomen come down to dismissing or respecting the boundaries of others.

I don’t know... I hadn’t really thought that was violating a boundary for being perceived a certain way. It’s weird to think about because it not something you are actively doing, it’s happening because you are not actively making it not happen (if that makes sense).

I also think the goal of trans people should be acceptance of trans people rather than concealment, but that’s a different conversation.

Yeah, I feel that is like a major conversation. I’ve always appreciated that I was able to not be visible (and even not really think about it) because I feel like it helped someone like me have a better life, especially years back when there really no push for acceptance.

Eta- a TW friend being upfront with me would indicate to me that they respect my boundaries. Me finding out somehow that a friend of mine is a TW would indicate to me that they disregard those boundaries. This is just my perspective tho

Thanks for explaining! I only have one experience of coming out to a friend (and that’s an odd story) so I don’t know how everyone feels or would feel about it.