I sympathize to an extent, but this is the life you chose. I view passing non-creepy trans people as body modification enthusiasts. You may be a good person, you may be beautiful, but you're still the sex you are. Some people naturally look like the opposite sex or less like the platonic ideal of their own sex, some invest effort into temporary changes in appearance, others' changes are more permanent, and everyone changes with the passage of time. A man who has cosmetic surgery to look like a cat isn't a cat, a man who has cosmetic surgery to look like a woman isn't a woman, and a man who naturally looks like a woman isn't a woman either. Everyone can be judged or discriminated or even harassed because of their appearance and fashion choices.

What is "trans", anyway? Is an elegant crossdresser enough of a woman? A failed crossdresser? A victim of plastic quackery who nearly died but will never pass? What if you pass with a wig but don't pass without one? What if you pass at 20 but not at 40?

Mental distress is a separate issue; even then, no other type of mental distress is accommodated to the extent that the gender movement wants to have "gender dysphoria" accommodated.

I believe in democratic solutions and democratic societies. I believe that laws should reflect society and that laws should be internally consistent and complementary. If you feel unsafe going about your life dressed in a certain way, the police should help. If they don't, you appeal to the society to reform and retrain the police. You should NOT expect to carve out a legally enforced exceptional right to pee with the women because that very same society is incapable of legally enforcing your existing right to safely pee with the men.

Pronouns and names wouldn't be an issue if not for the current state of affairs. To refer to a male by female pronouns will be understood by the public as supporting genderism. To refer to a male by a traditionally female name (even if it's his legal name) can disguise the fact that he's male and can be interpreted as supporting genderism. I'd rather be "rude", especially because the "victim" is most likely a creep. (I feel bad about names, but it's the lesser of two evils right now.)