Both: What do you like about being a woman or a man?

submitted by worried19 from (self.GCdebatesQT)

We already had a thread for what we hated about our natal sex, so I'm curious about the flip side.

Non-trans people, what do you enjoy about being a man or a woman?

Trans people, what do you enjoy about your target sex? Was there anything you enjoyed about your natal sex?

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[–]MezozoicGaygay male 5 insightful - 3 fun5 insightful - 2 fun6 insightful - 3 fun -  (4 children)

It is weird question. At least for someone who is comfortable with themselves and not narcissistic.

When I was very young, I had gender dysphoria and was thinking I am a girl for a year or so, but that was only because I liked other boys and everyone around was saying that only girls can like boys, so I thought "then I am a girl, I guess". However, in year or so it dissapeared completely. After that I felt no dysphoria anymore.

And being me is, well, just being me. I feel comfortable being myself, so I like everything I guess? I can tell much more what I like in other men, than what I like in myself being a man.

[–]worried19[S] 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

That makes sense, especially if you're comfortable with your male body and your male social role.

[–]MezozoicGaygay male 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

I am not very comfortable with my social role, if we are speaking about gender theory or how men "is supposed to be", but there is no such social role to fit me in (especially here, where gay marriage is not possible). While being "non-binary" is just stupid and means nothing.

Before this gender theory idiocracy, social roles were almost blured enough for me to fit into men one, but gender ideologists returned everything back to very strict gender stereotypes and created hundreds of stereotypes and labels for everyone to be put in one of them. For example, long shirts (almost dress-like ones) or red (sometimes even pink) pants became a normal cloths for men, a bit more time and even skirts would stop being "female-only". Sadly all this progress was thrown back.

[–]worried19[S] 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Makes sense. I'm not comfortable with my social role, either. But I am comfortable with my body.

It also bothers me that we've seen the return of rigid social roles for both men and women. Any progress that was made has been completely destroyed. Now any hint of masculinity in a woman or femininity in a man means that we should consider that they may not actually be their natal sex.

[–]MezozoicGaygay male 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Indeed. And sadly that we did not make it to men-skirts or toga-like cloths designed for men body structure (like it was in ancient Rome and Greece). As going around in pants during very hot summer is not very comfortable and it is not making any good for our reproductive organs, and I dislike wearing shorts. I actually have toga-like cloth, but it is almost impossible to wear it in regular life, so I am only wearing it when going to the beach, etc. It is very comfortable like that when it is hot around.

[–]CatbugMods allow rape victim blaming in this sub :) 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Nothing. It’s not good or bad, it just is.

[–]strictly 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

There is nothing I enjoy that is dependent on me being female bodied.

[–]burninglikeabridge 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (5 children)

I like being hairy and I can put on muscle really easily now. I like my butt.

[–]worried19[S] 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (4 children)

Did you feel comfortable with your body hair before you transitioned?

Society puts a lot of shame on natal females who refuse to remove it.

[–]burninglikeabridge 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

Only in private. I enjoyed it but I felt the shame in public and around certain people (my mom was one of them). I grew some facial hair before HRT thanks to the Italian in me and I'd get my face waxed regularly, as well as my legs and armpits. Eventually that did start to take a big toll on my self esteem and mental health. That lasted maybe a year before I said fuck it and decided to just be hairy and start to not care what society was saying about my body hair. Year later I figured out that I'm trans and my body hair is now envied by other men, lol. Society is a weird place.

[–]worried19[S] 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

It's fucked up how much shame society puts on the natural female body. Even those of us who consider ourselves feminist and enlightened end up falling prey to it, just because of how heavily it's enforced. People who know there's absolutely nothing wrong with their body hair will still not display it in public because the taboo is just that heavy.

What's even crazier is that it didn't used to be like this. Women's leg and underarm hair used to be considered totally normal.

[–]burninglikeabridge 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

I find the obsession with being hairless kind of creepy. Reminds me of preubescence.

What do you do with your body hair? If you don't mind sharing.

[–]worried19[S] 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I've never understood why people remove pubic hair in particular. I find it creepy.

As for me, I'm not that hairy, but I did start shaving my legs and armpits in middle school just out of self preservation. I was already harassed pretty bad at the time, so my reasoning was that I didn't want to give people another thing to bother me about. I don't mind body hair at all. I still remove it just out of habit, I guess at this point. I don't think my partner would care if I didn't. But I've only ever seen a woman in public one time who had visible underarm and leg hair. So maybe I'm not as feminist as I think I am on this issue. It's not like people don't already stare at me for being GNC, what's one more thing for them to stare at?

[–]peakingatthemomentTranssexual (natal male), HSTS 3 insightful - 2 fun3 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 2 fun -  (3 children)

Most of the time, it’s sort of a neutral thing. I feel like I notice it the most when dealing with sexism and how we are seen as less human and less competent than men, so I think more about the negatives.

From what I remember when I was younger, I felt like being a girl/woman made it where people understood me better and treated me better in most ways. I liked how I was being accepted by people and being able to fully express myself without being viewed negatively. I also felt like my body fit better with how I thought of myself and that made me more comfortable being (I had been terribly afraid of my voice changing and getting big).

[–]worried19[S] 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

Why do you think you were afraid of getting big?

There are lots of big women out there. I can understand about the voice. Having a testosterone-affected voice makes it much more difficult to pass.

[–]peakingatthemomentTranssexual (natal male), HSTS 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Why do you think you were afraid of getting big?

Being small made me feel feminine compared to boys so I liked being small and was sort of proud of being small. Not in a sexual way, because I felt like that before I had any sexual feelings. It’s complicated to understand though even for me because I also had an eating disorder so some of those feelings could be part of that. It was/is really difficult to separate dysphoria feelings from eating disorder/dysmorphia feelings and I feel like they sort of fed each other.

[–]worried19[S] 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

That's interesting. I don't think little girls generally enjoy being small. Most kids want to grow up to be bigger than they are, or at least that's my experience. It's frustrating being a kid because you're generally powerless. I don't believe girls end up wanting to be small until they realize that society will shame them for being big. Like every kid knows being fat is "bad," but it's especially considered bad for girls and women. They might need to get a little older before they realize being tall is also shamed in women.

Maybe because I internalized male values so heavily, I was eager to be as tall as possible. But a more conforming girl would probably have realized as she got older that being tall would make her not as popular or conventionally attractive, and thus would have preferred to fit in over gaining height.

It was/is really difficult to separate dysphoria feelings from eating disorder/dysmorphia feelings

That makes sense. Sorry to hear you struggled with that.

[–][deleted] 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

I’m not disgusted by my body anymore. That’s really job one. Now that my hormones are sorted I can actually access emotion.

I hated essentially everything about my natal sex. If I had to pick one thing as a positive it is that I used to feel safe when I was living as a guy and I don’t anymore.

[–]worried19[S] 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I'm glad you feel better about your body now. Thanks for sharing that.

[–]transwomanHesitantly QT? 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (4 children)

Since transitioning, I have grown much more comfortable with my body and who I am in general. It took a very long time to accept myself and my body (I still have a bit of a hard time being overly critical about my appearance sometimes), but overall I feel happier now, and I feel like I can finally focus on improving other aspects of my life.

Some things I miss about being a man: being taken seriously at my job when I make a suggestion/comment, the feeling of safety walking to my car when its dark outside or late at night, etc.

[–]worried19[S] 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

I'm glad you're more comfortable with your body now.

You're the second person who mentioned missing feeling safe as a man. It seems like it's pretty rare for anyone who is perceived to be female to experience that.

[–]transwomanHesitantly QT? 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

It's absolutely based in female oppression, which results in trans women and natal women having to be more alert/aware in many situations regarding safety. It's an unfortunate reality that we have to work to combat.

[–]worried19[S] 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

I guess I've been lucky as a female never to have experienced that. I've always felt safe. Maybe in part due to my size, or the fact that I pass as male at a glance.

[–]transwomanHesitantly QT? 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

That's true, the lines definitely get a little more blurry, especially when people appear as one sex or another. It's good you feel safe though, I hope you don't have to experience that ever ♥️

[–]luckystar 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I like the idea of being able to be a mother. I'm trying to get pregnant currently and I did a ton of research on the female body and it really is amazing what our bodies are capable of! Growing an entire person, feeding them... it has to be one of if not the best things that a human can do, the whole human race would be dead without women. I don't really consider the other feminine things I like (like cooking or whatever) to be part of "being a woman", so for me it really does boil down to biology.

Note: I know a lot of women don't like the idea of getting pregnant so I don't mean any disrespect to them by this, nor do I mean that women HAVE to give birth or whatever... I don't know how else to phrase it

[–]worried19[S] 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

It's hard to say what I enjoy about being a woman. The majority of my feelings about being a woman are negative, but to focus on the positive things, I enjoy that women generally have longer lifespans than men. I plan to live to be 100, so my sex works in my favor there. I also think that female people get the better deal when it comes to sexual pleasure, at least for those of us who can have multiple orgasms.

[–]peakingatthemomentTranssexual (natal male), HSTS 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

I also think that female people get the better deal when it comes to sexual pleasure, at least for those of us who can have multiple orgasms.

I feel like even though that is true, it’s not how it works out for most of us. We need to close the orgasm gap.

[–]worried19[S] 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Yeah, the orgasm gap is an issue. Clearly if lesbians are having orgasms so much more often than straight women, female anatomy is not the problem. It's the the fact that men aren't pleasuring their partners. I don't get why any woman would put up with unsatisfying sex. Everyone says straight men are so desperate, that conventionally attractive women can be choosers. If that's the case, why do they choose men who won't satisfy them? For those men who are selfish or lazy, I don't see why they're getting repeat customers.

[–]FlanJam 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

All I can think of is minor, insignificant things. Like there's the stereotype that women's restrooms are generally cleaner. Idk if that's true but if it is then I guess that's nice. Another silly thing is that in kpop fandoms, its normal for female fans to call female idols "husband" or "wife" as a joke. Its kinda weird when male fans do that tho.

[–]MrFahrenheit46Gen Z butch dyke 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I don't really think of having a female body as an achievement. Rather, I have pride in all the cool stuff I've been able to do with it (running 5Ks, doing parkour, riding horses). I can gain pretty good muscle/flexibility if I work at it consistently.

[–][deleted]  (4 children)

[removed]

    [–]peakingatthemomentTranssexual (natal male), HSTS[M] 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

    Removed for violating sub rules and dragging down the discussion pyramid

    [–]worried19[S] 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

    Male supremacists are not allowed on this sub.