Just for fun: Where are you on the scale?

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[–]peakingatthemomentTranssexual (natal male), HSTS 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (7 children)

I guess like probably 1 in real life. I feel like I can’t express any ideas critical of current trans rights dogma or I’d probably be fired so I have to keep it secret.

Maybe 5 or 6 online?

[–]worried19[S] 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (6 children)

I would think being transsexual yourself would give you immunity. After all, they can hardly fire a trans woman for transphobia. It's not like they can ascribe personal prejudice to you. That would be illogical. Not that logic is especially esteemed in the current climate.

I haven't said anything GC in real life just because the subject has never come up. If it did, I don't think I would be hesitant about expressing my opinion. It depends what the issue is, of course. I'm not the type to seek out conflict, but if it was something I felt strongly about, I would make my stance known. In a way I feel protected because most people here are very conservative, so it's not like we have a large "woke" population.

[–]peakingatthemomentTranssexual (natal male), HSTS 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (5 children)

I would think being transsexual yourself would give you immunity. After all, they can hardly fire a trans woman for transphobia.

That could be, but they don’t know I’m a transsexual. None of my employers have because I transitioned before I started working and it’s not something people assume. I’m in human resources too, so I’m not sure if telling people I’m trans would help since part of my job involves promoting an inclusive workplace and they might no longer trust me to do that (trans people work here).

I haven't said anything GC in real life just because the subject has never come up.

I’m surprised it doesn’t come up for you more. Like, the way you describe yourself, it seems like you might get pronoun questions sometimes. I guess it’s not difficult to just go along in those conversations though or maybe it just happens less in more conservative areas.

[–]worried19[S] 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (4 children)

That makes sense, especially if you're not out. If they knew, you would have a unique platform. I find it hard to believe they would fire a trans woman for not having the "right" opinion. It would open them up to bad publicity and possibly accusations of discrimination. Still, it's not something I suppose anyone wants to take a chance on. Do trans issues come up a lot in your workplace?

I’m surprised it doesn’t come up for you more. Like, the way you describe yourself, it seems like you might get pronoun questions sometimes.

It hasn't happened yet, although I'm dreading the day it does come up. I think most people are just reluctant to say anything to me outright about my presentation. I don't know if some people assume I'm trans and other people assume I'm a butch lesbian or what. I get "sir" in public, but it's clear they think I'm a biological male because they apologize when they realize I'm not. I don't socialize much with strangers. Even before the pandemic, I hung out with my one guy friend from work and my partner's friends. I'm not around new people much, and the ones I do meet are not clued into these topics as far as I know.

[–]peakingatthemomentTranssexual (natal male), HSTS 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

I’m not sure if it comes up a lot, but we have two trans employees (even though we’re fairly small). There is one non-binary female and one trans woman who began transitioning at the beginning of last year (after her child was born so, uggh, but it’s not really my business, my heart breaks for her wife and child though). We have trainings around diversity and inclusion that feature some gender ideology. I don’t like words like “cis” or like everyone necessarily having a gender identity.

It sounds like you may not be super social (which is fine). I feel like the pronoun thing come up at some point, but it doesn’t have to be a whole thing necessarily, although it upsets me that it usually only get asked of GNC folks.

[–]worried19[S] 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

Yikes, it's crazy that there would be three trans people, including you, at one small company. That shouldn't be statistically possible, but I suppose it's like those schools with dozens of trans kids in the same grade. Being driven by culture, not biology. Old-school transsexuals like yourself are outnumbered by everyone else.

I wouldn't say I'm a hermit, but the last time I spent time around tons of new people was in college, and that was a rural, evangelical-leaning college, so there were no gender questions there. And of course with bars and restaurants mostly shut down or not safe to be at, I haven't been out to socialize with friends in forever. I've got my friends from high school and college, my one friend here, and my partner's friends, and that's about it.

I know I'll be really upset if (I should probably say when) someone asks me that question. Hopefully I'll be able to brush it off without it affecting me too badly.

[–]peakingatthemomentTranssexual (natal male), HSTS 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

And of course with bars and restaurants mostly shut down or not safe to be at, I haven't been out to socialize with friends in forever. I've got my friends from high school and college, my one friend here, and my partner's friends, and that's about it.

The pandemic has been so tough. Hopefully things will get back to normal so we can spend more time with friends in person. Zoom isn’t the same.

I know I'll be really upset if (I should probably say when) someone asks me that question. Hopefully I'll be able to brush it off without it affecting me too badly.

I’m sorry. It would totally be about them and not about you. Gender sux.

[–]worried19[S] 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I hope things get back to normal at some point. I really miss my family. I talk to them on the phone, but I haven't seen them in person since Christmas.

I’m sorry. It would totally be about them and not about you. Gender sux.

Thanks. I'll try to remember that, when it happens. I don't mind being misgendered if someone thinks I'm a biological guy, but not if they look at me and just think I'm too masculine to be a "real" woman. I mean, hell, that's why I struggled so much in my teen years, believing that I was too much of a freak to be considered a normal female person. I don't get how this is passing for progressive at all. It's basically telling people you don't even know that you believe they're too masculine or too feminine to be valid members of their sex.