The two major sects of 3rd Wave Feminism have diverging opinions on sex as an expression of power.

I will attempt to explain the differences between TIRF [Trans-Inclusionary Radical Feminist] and TERF [Trans-Exclusionary Radical Feminist] ideas on this topic.

TIRFs use the phrase “sex work is work” and fight for the sexual liberation of women in all aspects. They believe that women are sexually oppressed when their sexual expression is limited. I believe this mindset grew out of the sexual revolution of the 1960s, which was tied to the movement of 2nd Wave Feminism. I believe this movement may have had some good intentions. There was an idea that women should enjoy sex, and should be educated on their bodies. In the early 1900s, Freud popularized the idea that clitoral orgasm was psychosexuallly deviant, and in 1948, the 25th edition of Gray’s Anatomy did not include the clitoris in diagrams of female anatomy. It was not until 1998 that the full anatomy of the clitoris was discovered and mapped.

(http://projects.huffingtonpost.com/projects/cliteracy/history)

As a result, many women of the 20th century were uninformed or misinformed on their own anatomy. In addition to this, there was the cultural belief that sex is something a woman does for her husband, and it was not for her enjoyment. However, after overcoming these two obstacles to female sexual enjoyment, the sexual liberation movement took a more Radical tact. This is a typical TIRF definition of sexual oppression:

“We have perpetuated the notion that negative value is associated with women who sleep with someone on the first date, engage in casual sex often or have had many partners. Oftentimes, we do so, even when we will, in turn, be subject to such a cruel scale of judgment.”

(https://www.elitedaily.com/dating/women-still-oppressed-sexual-beings-heres/813549)

So, although women have the information and the ability to enjoy sex, TIRFs claims that the cultural attitudes toward promiscuous women continue to oppress them. (It is mostly a woman’s female friends and relatives who will judge her for her promiscuity, but this fact is obscured in TIRF ideology.) Their goal no longer seems to be for women enjoy sex, but simply that they have as much sex as possible. (I do not believe this is truly enjoyable for women -- therefore this movement is diametrically opposed to its original intentions.) For TIRFs, I suppose sexual empowerment would be for a woman to have as much sex, with whoever, and in whatever way she wants, and to be congratulated and encouraged to do so. They also support porn and sex work as empowering to women.

Framing the physical act of sex as an expression of power is much more common in TERF. TERFs often cite the views of Andrea Dworkin on sex and pornography. Dworkin believed

“all intercourse ... violates the integrity of a woman’s body, that women who want it are ‘experiencing pleasure in their own inferiority.’”

(https://www.thecut.com/2019/03/sex-lies-and-andrea-dworkin.html)

She is sometimes quoted as saying “all sex is rape”, but I think that is a simplification of her views. Dworkin was abused by her first husband, which undoubtably shaped her views on heterosexual relationships. From my own observation, a significant number of women in the TERF community have also been abused by male partners. You should also know that many TERFs are Radical Lesbian separatists, and some do believe that sex between a man and a woman is always an expression of male power oppressing the female partner. I found an entirely serious discussion on r/GenderCritical on whether oral sex is inherently disempowering, with this response:

“In a relationship, sex does not exist separate from other power relationships between partners. and the cultural influences that create expectations within us. So in a relationship that has a power imbalance, sex will feel like it is expression and an enactment of that power imbalance.”

(https://www.reddit.com/r/GenderCritical/comments/dyh7z4/thoughts_about_women_giving_men_oral_sex_is_it/f81of38?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x)

Since they definitionally believe men have power and women are oppressed, I suppose they believe all heterosexual relationships have an inherent power imbalance, and therefore heterosexual sex is always disempowering to the woman. This can also be extended to inter-racial relationships. In their framework, white people always have more power than members of other races. By the same theory, inter-racial sex is disempowering to the non-white partner. (And I did not make that up, I was introduced to that theory in a Gender Studies classroom.) While there is some room for discussion about whether particular sex acts are disempowering, TERFs are firm on the stance that porn and sex work are degrading and disempowering to women, and they fight for these industries to be eradicated and made illegal. Most are opposed to BDSM sex, kinky sex, or any kind of sex that plays out roles of dominance and submission for similar reasons, especially if the man is in the dominant role.

TERFs substitute the oppressor/oppressed narrative where dominance and submission are more appropriate. This is a rhetorical trick to imply that there is violence in the sexual relationship. It also disguises the woman’s choice to participate. This is purposeful, as TERFs would argue that women cannot consent to sex in a relationship with a power imbalance. (Notice how similar this is to the framing of arguments against minor consent. We would say that a minor cannot consent to sex with an adult, because there is an inherent power imbalance between the adult and the minor, therefore the minor does not have the full power to make that decision. TERFs attribute the same level of autonomy to women, as most people would attribute to a child.)

Both views must be rejected.