Dating world & Making irl friends? Ending up alone?

submitted by [deleted] from self.FEBfems

Dating is really hard as a GC febfem. I try to avoid all TRAs and anyone with pronouns in their bio or with any SJW talking points cause I literally have no tolerance for gender ideology/transgenderism. It's rooted in utter delusions and fetishes and I rather not have someone with those beliefs around me.

From the getgo we have to deal with biphobia within genderists/TRAs, telling us that bisexuality is "transphobic" or that "we like both anyway so fuck transppl so LG/S ppl don't have to!" We have other het-leaning (which is the majority) bi ppl saying "oh just try men!" " Nothing is wrong with dick etc" pushing us to date men and the plethora of biphobic stereotypes of bi women get from everyone: ( eg: bislut, bihet, always run back to dick, will leave you for a male, penis obsessed , cum guzzlers, disease ridden, the reasons AIDS/STIs are in lesbian communities, will cheat, will fuck anything, threesomes, polyamory etc.

Sadly this make dating pool/friendship making harder to navigate I, as a febfem, of course prefer to date only women. Cannot say that on dating apps cause you will be banned/doxxed. Lesbians understandably don't want bi women, I don't want men, and majority of bi women will date and marry men and majority of women are on board with genderists/transgenderism so dating has become so damn hard I actually just stopped bothering.

I wanna make friends with people in my hobbies but all of my hobbies are taken over by genderists/transgenderism with insane pronouns like "bug/bugself, gore/goreself" and filled with gender politics I leave those groups once I realize how much gender ideology has taken over that space. Even bi women spaces to connect with other bi women, is het/male centered, with little to no bi women wanting to talk about same sex attraction...

I'm kinda alternative and listen to alt music, even within my music subcultures...taken over by transgenderism, to the point I've seen some ppl get called out and cancelled publicly online for having GC views.

I'm SO FUCKING SICK to death of everything I'm interested in taken over by gender ideology! Every space, even female spaces have gender ideology and males in dresses in it!

I dunno what I'm getting at but how does one navigate this? How can I connect to other febfems/bi women or women in general who are like myself, rooted in reality and who are GC like myself? It all seems so hopeless.

It feels like I'm so young and my dating life is practically over cause there is no way I can find a GC SSA woman. And finding friends feels like.a waste cause everyone drank the TiM kool-aid.

I dunno I'm half venting , half asking for a ray of hope that maybe I could find connections with other women like myself. 😔

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[–][deleted] 7 insightful - 2 fun7 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 2 fun -  (5 children)

I'm sorry, but I don't have any answers for dating since I'm in an LTR.

But for friendships, I've found that I connect best with people in real life, in neutral non-LGB and non-hobby places. I know, that's the exact opposite of what everyone says to do, they say to find like-minded people through like-minded engagements, and especially utilize the resources of the internet. I have very very rarely found that to work out though. I've been doing this since before the WWW was even a thing, and of all the online peeps I've met since the early 90s, less than a handful are still in my life.

Online, we can pretend to be whoever or whatever we want to be. We can pretend our own glaring red flags don't exist or minimize them, and just hyper-focus on the other person. We can make excuses for the other person too, by over-thinking individual words and analyzing them to the death, instead of seeing the bigger picture they present about who they are.

But in real life, we don't have the luxury of delays and a screen/shield. We can't delete the words that come out of our mouths, and we have immediate consequences for what we say and how we act. So as people, we have to be more thoughtful and precise ... or at the very least, more transparent about our thoughts and feelings and beliefs.

I'm an introverted person, and I take the "watch and wait" approach through work. I fucking hate small talk with a passion, but it's a necessary evil. I let other people talk, and make minor chit-chat to show them I'm a willing participant ... that encourages them to open up and express themselves more when we're alone or in small groups. And because of that, I find people I can connect with on issues that aren't LGB/TRA/gender at all. You can get a feel for how someone will approach the more sensitive/no-no topics by hearing how they parent their kids, or their frustrations with friends or family over the weekend, things like that. I don't have children so I can't relate to parents as parents, but I can relate to them with how I grew up, or things I appreciated as a kid, or what I wished my parents recognized about me to make things better. We find commonality in shared life values, and that helps us accept each other in other areas we may not have considered previously.

[–][deleted] 5 insightful - 2 fun5 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 2 fun -  (3 children)

Thank you. I will try some of those things. I hope one day this gender cult will see an end .

[–][deleted] 4 insightful - 2 fun4 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

You're welcome, and I hope it helps! I don't have all the answers, not by any stretch of the imagination, and can only share about my own observations and experiences.

I have faith that one day the gender cult will come to an end too, I'm with you sister!

[–]wendyokoopa1 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Same.

[–]bucetao6969 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

The LGB Alliance is trying to put an end to it, but it's difficult. If you wanna show your support give them your money :)

[–]shinnygummy 5 insightful - 2 fun5 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

Are you a febfem yourself? Can you tell us about some of your personal experiences with it?

[–]CleoMarie 4 insightful - 2 fun4 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 2 fun -  (3 children)

I can tolerate people with different opinions, so personally I wouldn't stop connecting with someone who believes in gender bullshit. But they would have to be tolerant to my gender critical views also. If we can both put the politics aside then we can work it out.

[–][deleted] 4 insightful - 2 fun4 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 2 fun -  (1 child)

Good luck. Genderists/TRAs do not tolerate anyone who disagrees with gender ideology and will ruin your life for not believing in their cult.

[–]CleoMarie 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

That's a likely scenario. Anyone who is passionate about trans rights would sooner cut me off than me doing it. Because I would not hide my opinions.

[–]bucetao6969 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Do you still date bi's / pansexuals?

[–]wendyokoopa1 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

The op of this sounds exactly like me. Even gaming has been taken over by the trans menace. I was In a discord server for gaming females and most of the women In there were trans men. Like fuck? I came here to meet bio females for friends and maybe dating.

[–]bucetao6969 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I get where you are coming from but there's a few problems with your stance.

First, pronouns aren't part of the "sjw" crowd. You use pronouns on social media since you have avatars and such, and people can . I'm willing to accept a "they/them", they don't feel the other gender whatever. The moment they start explaining their gender or anything other than a they/them yeah I'm out.

Second is "try out dick" really that offensive to you? It feels like something you have to try once in your life to see if you like it or not. Of course the bisexual woman will tell you she likes dick... she is... a bisexual! Crazy I know.

Why you don't want bi women? Is it because of STI's? I would understand if you avoid pansexuals since these are the true red flags.