I know I am super late to the party. Sorry about that! I am just now seeing this post (since you had linked to it in a common you'd made to me). I am so sorry about your father passing, and also sorry to hear about your being cut off from your family.

I know these are random questions, but are you a Capricorn? The astrology of Capricorns is they all had at least 2 or 3 very hard years around 2018, 2019, 2020, but depending on your specific chart, the hard years may have started as early as 2008. Hopefully, this year has been a good year for you, despite covid. You deserve some breathing room!

Next random question is do you know that a parasite called Toxoplasmosis causes mental issues? This article only addresses schizophrenia, but it causes a bunch of disorders, including bi-polar disorder, depending on which part of the brain it settles in. The reason I chose this particular article is because it points out that toxoplasmosis is carried in the sperm, and 50% of the offspring of an infected male carry it. This is why mental illness appears to be genetic. https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2012/03/how-your-cat-is-making-you-crazy/308873/. I suspect that one of the reasons Daraprim and Ivermectin have been demonized is because they help cure mental illness, or at least stop it from getting worse. Big Pharma can't sell all those psych meds if people realize the true cause and cure of their issues.

Finally, I would strongly recommend a book called The Dance of Anger by Harriet Lerner to help you learn ho to rebuild your relationship with your mother and siblings. It is a short, easy read and will change your life.