Subjective indeed. His opinion was long since almost irrelevant to me, but we share common circles of influences. Allies are always better than not. I didn't need to be redeemed, but I wanted it anyway.

More than just pop culture corporate media, but people around me, are always talking about how important family is. I can recognize it in my own life at times, while other times it seems like myth. Especially when the establishment is perpetually trying to divide and break and control us. I can only guess where I stand in relation to the average (how ever many ways you choose to determine it). I can easily imagine better family lives. I've seen many, and not just on TV. I've also seen worse, and I can certainly imagine worse. There's no shortage of stories about abuses, kidnappings, orphans, etc. - and that's just in our first world. Most of the world suffers tortures of the damned under heavy boots and bombs of merciless exploitation and tyranny.

I don't buy into a heaven fantasy shit, as nice as that might be.

Anakin, you're focused on throwing gay sand instead of the fun of building sand castles. However, I must thank you, and indirectly Bob³ for engaging me there and giving me food for thought. Not under this post, I could give you a list of things I semi-regret doing in my youth. Obviously if someone says, "That's gross," I'm tempted to step it up. Why do we like to push limits? Sure it's fun, but short lived. Like my realizing that while IMO no topic is too taboo to joke about, however Holocaust Skepticism is better without jokes that would distract from the issue and make it a larger target. That was an epiphany for me, and similarly, discussing trolling I realized I needed to do better than throw gay sand, fun as it is, to be better. Next time someone's grossed out, I'll be forced to bite my tongue.

Sorry, Gotch Seeds doesn't have the same ring.

You know me online with many of my internal thoughts, but I'm pretty sure that if you knew me in person you'd soon realize I'm very independent. Though I try to be aware of what others think of me, I often don't give a shit and do my own thing anyway. Just yesterday I was discussing this getting drunk with my neighbour. He's financially set for his retirement with almost zero ambitions, so he wears what he would wear even if he were filthy rich. I'm scraping by month to month, but if I won the lottery (I'd have to play that scam), I'd have many ideas and counter-culture projects that I'd invest it in - but with extra financial wiggle room I'd employ some clothing artisans to develop MANY custom fashions, from practical to eccentric. IMO, like Burning Man, every day is Halloween. There's no shortage of 6-foot, long-haired, long-bearded, old-man get-ups I could easily wear well. One of my forthcoming project proposals will outline a way in which I just might even have a valid excuse to make this happen.

It would be nice to spend more time with Mom, though it'd be easier if she met me half way. I imagine to her I'm like my dad's mom. My Grandma was a born-again Jehova's Witness - the worst kind. So convinced their new way was the best and everyone must conform. Believe me, when I passionately go off about conspiracies I know I may sound crazy to the uninitiated and unexposed. I expect this is even more alienating from a bohemian non-conformist like me. To some I might as well try to convince them to ditch their stable committed marriages for polyamourous orgies - senseless.

Patching things up might be nice on some fronts. I suspect they might also be painful and/or a lot of effort. Sounding like someone possessed again, I know my time is limited, more than ever now and with my fucked up back - so IMO I need to use it with more purpose as wisely as I can on these projects. I can finally understand and sympathize with the unmarried Ralph Nader, though I'll have to pull some serious miracles out of my ass to actually be worthy of being mentioned in the same sentence as him.

Oddly, in writing this, I've had another epiphany and project idea, very much NOT what I want to do, but very necessary I think, in order to save time from drafting all these epic, verbose, and beautifully eloquent diatribes (/s).