Sure, I've felt that way now and then. But is the OSA really the problem or is it the shit people (men or women, straight or gay) have to say about it and about us as bisexuals and us as bisexual women? The good thing about being bi is our lives are entirely what we make of them. It's all about choices. You don't have to ever be intimate with a man again if you know it would only hurt you. (& if you are experiencing conflicting emotions, distress, and anger then it's obviously not good for the man either because that dynamic would not be healthy for either of you.) It's not like you owe anyone sex or a relationship. OSA feelings =/= OSA actions, is what I mean I guess. OSA is natural and normal in us, but it's complicated because we live in a heteropatriarchal world and there are endless ways that it twists and poisons our ability to have natural and normal relations with the opposite sex. Which is not our fault. It's not a problem that originates in you. I think it's cool that we can feel attracted to pretty much anyone who catches our eye, but we don't have to do shit about it if we don't want to. And if anyone has anything nasty to say about us, we can choose to disregard irrelevant opinions that are based on someone else's projections onto us rather than reality.

Again, it's ok that you feel like this but it's not your fault & you aren't dirty or tainted or anything of the sort for having been with men before and still feeling attracted to them. Your sexuality is a whole and good and natural one - it's the world outside of you that has planted and nurtured this self-loathing. Also, you can prefer and/or focus mostly or entirely on your SSA and still be bi and unashamed of it (because your bisexuality is what enables you to even be attracted to women at all), you don't have to be a lesbian for that. It's not exclusively their domain hahah.