"my friend claims to be bi but has only dated men/women"

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[–]BiHorror 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (8 children)

Good lord... I understand this completely. Like, what do you expect? The sexual orientation of the majority is HETEROSEXUAL. Of course, most bisexuals are going to be in opposite sex relationships, alongside most bisexuals are going to be leaning opposite because of that.

For this so called “let’s be allies against the big evil trans!” They (some LG, it’s not all of them obviously) sure love to throw bisexuals under the bus for what individuals do. But if you were bring some shit that they have done onto them? You’ll get struck with the “you homophobe!!!!” Real quick.

Edit: I forgot about that whole “tainted by dick” some twats do because... So, are you also going to be throwing the not “gold star” lesbians out of dating pool then? Because some of them have dated and even slept with men before they came out. The same goes for some gay men who had relationships, gotten married, and even children with women.

[–]PatsyStone 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (5 children)

I'll give lesbians the benefit of the doubt on this "tainted by dick" thing since I've never heard a woman say it in real life. It appears to be an internet thing only, from my experience, which makes it dubious. It could stem from the context of social media and dating apps or it could be intentionally divisive bullshit coming from a variety of sources.

[–]clitoriana 3 insightful - 2 fun3 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 2 fun -  (2 children)

I've also fortunately never seen anyone in real life say it. The unfortunate thing is sometimes posts on the internet like "I don't want a girl that's been dicked down by a man already" (something a lesbian on twitter posted) can get a surprising amount of positive attention (shares, likes, commentary that agrees or finds it funny rather than points out the repulsive misogyny). Still, I'd like to think more people will denounce such a statement than agree with it.

[–]PatsyStone 4 insightful - 2 fun4 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 2 fun -  (1 child)

I remember some spectacular misogyny from accounts claiming to be lesbians on the old DroptheT Reddit sub, one psycho claimed bisexual women couldn't be trusted because semen survives for six days inside the vagina and you never know. Who were those people really? Would they express those sentiments in other contexts? People speak and behave differently based on what they're doing and who they're talking to.

I've always hit it off with lesbians and gotten along with the ones I know irl, but I've always been kept at a certain distance. I've never been called dirty or treated as less than them though!

The lesbian community exists to facilitate lifelong monogamous relationships between women, and whether you're invited in reflects how much faith they have that you can assist with that goal. From my vantage point a lot of lesbians get treated poorly within their own community because they are seen as impeding that goal, or their needs and issues are ignored in favor of the community's commitment to... well... commitment.

Let's not forget that gays and lesbians often have a hard time fitting in within their own communities and can be abused and treated with disdain by each other.

[–]BiHorror 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Let's not forget that gays and lesbians often have a hard time fitting in within their own communities and can be abused and treated with disdain by each other

I have seen that before and ffs, it can get ugly which is pretty fuckin' sad. I mean, didn't we have one user on the other sub (I believe he was a gay man? He got banned) who was pro LG but had a disdain towards bis... And any gays and lesbians who didn't agree with him. I remember him trashing on some lesbians because they dare use lesbophobia as a term and some other topics.

[–]BiHorror 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Eh, that's true. Although, I remember making a post similar about it once in LGBDropTheT and apparently some didn't like that so meh.

[–]PatsyStone 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

The old Drop the T was full of lesbian feminists who blame all of their problems on bisexual women. It was a cesspit- they successfully drove me away. Glad they're now quarantined somewhere else. I wouldn't be surprised if they weren't part of a troll infestation, though.

I remember an incident on truebisexuals where someone who regularly posted and said they were a teenage girl had a hate thread started against her on truelesbians where some of the usual suspects absolutely belittled her and, honestly, sexually debased her for being attracted to women. It was bizarre and appalling. I wrote to the mods telling them they needed to ban all the women involved because of how obscene and derogatory the things they were writing were. They deleted the thread, but I still saw some of the usernames posting when I checked in a couple of days later. Disgusting.

I'm committed to getting along with lesbians, and I know many kind and lovely lesbians irl. Lesbians online are so toxic it's hard not to see behavior like this and not feel a different way about them. They don't rein in their crazies at all.

[–][deleted] 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

But if you were bring some shit that they have done onto them? You’ll get struck with the “you homophobe!!!!” Real quick.

And that's exactly why I usually steer clear of bringing it up on droptheT but I'm starting to not give a shit anymore.

[–]BiHorror 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Yeah, I tried to keep that attitude too but sometimes it just gets so frustrating. I even took a break a while back (and now, which explains why I took like 2000 years to reply back so sorry ').

Another thing, I forgot to mention... if we are going to use dating history, then what about LGB who haven't dated at all? And don't plan to date? Are they actually asexuals then?