"my friend claims to be bi but has only dated men/women"

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[–]clitoriana 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Sometimes it feels like we can't do anything without somebody shitting on us. We could try to explain this kind of thing to them over and over but they still won't listen because it was always only coming from a place of hating bisexuals. So our explanations and lamentations typically fall on deaf ears. I am starting to care less and less... our dating histories and futures are none of their business. They're not invited lol. 🤭

I say we be as loud and proud as we wanna be, even if we get shit on for it, because god knows all anybody else has to say about it is that we're liars, cheaters, and fakers. We have to be there for each other since no one else will.

[–][deleted] 10 insightful - 1 fun10 insightful - 0 fun11 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I am starting to care less and less

Honestly same. Like, you think bisexuals are whores, unfaithful, liars, gross, etc? Cool. Whatever. But when they try to blame us for their biphobia that's when I get pissed off.

Like how if we come out, we're 'doing it for attention/not really same sex attracted/'well you've only dated men, sooo...' And if we don't come out it's 'well that's bisexuals fault for not being out and proud.' Fuck you. All of you.

And I get the resentment. I really do. it makes my skin crawl when I see other bisexuals calling themselves gay and speaking over LGs. I hate when I see straight people claiming to be bi when they really ARE just attention seeking narcs. LGs are always happy to trash bisexuals in those situations and I agree with them there.

Yet none of them want to own up to how often LGs use 'bi' as a stepping stone before coming out as gay and how damaging that is to us. It gives people a reason to think bisexuality isn't real because 'well every bi person I've known eventually came out as gay so you can only be gay or straight. bisexuality doesn't exist and you need to pick a side'. "B-b-but figuring out your sexuality is haaaard. It's confuuuusing." Yeah I get that. We've all been there. But if that's the case then just fucking wait. Don't claim a label you aren't sure about. Wait. If you aren't sure yet, oh, I dunno, say you aren't sure instead of watering down the term 'bisexual'. Bisexual is not a synonym for 'unsure' or 'questioning' and I'm sick of LGs thinking it's harmless and okay to use it as such when they're figuring themselves out.

And that's not even counting the aforementioned blatant biphobia I've seen, mostly from lesbians directed at bi women. How come we have to answer for the BS in our community against LGs but they don't have to answer to their BS against bisexuals? Oh I know, because no one gives a shit about us anyway. We're all attention seeking 'pick-me's apparently so why should they care.

I say we be as loud and proud as we wanna be, even if we get shit on for it, because god knows all anybody else has to say about it is that we're liars, cheaters, and fakers. We have to be there for each other since no one else will.

Absolutely. I just had to blow off some steam because I was like.....really? Do you not hear yourself? "b-b-but most bi's end up het paired!! so I don't have to believe them when they say they're same sex attracted!! why are you making me think critically?? -sob-" Because, why the fuck would I fight an uphill battle trying to find a girlfriend in a homophobic red state when there's a cute guy at work who likes me? Yes, we're same sex attracted, but we're also human. Generally, humans like to take the path of least resistance. I know some of them are resentful we can 'pass' as straight if we want but...that's not our fault. Get over it.