Bisexuals and same-sex attraction...

submitted by PeakingPeachEater from self.Bisexuals

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[–]PenseePansy 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

  1. This is a huge problem, and I talked about it briefly in the thread on drop the T. I think this mainly stems from the patriarchal view that dick is powerful enough to 'ruin' or 'turn' anyone it comes in contact with sexually. It's why people think bi men are 'just gay' and bi women are 'just straight'. Both circle back to the idea that if you're attracted to men, that's the ONLY type of attraction that carries any weight. Bi men get the worst of it because of how homophobic society is already.

Completely agree that this is a huge problem, but have a somewhat different theory as to what's behind it.

I'd say that attraction to men essentially cancels out attraction to women for both sexes because of the way that gender-roles work.

For the female and male gender-role alike, men are central (they're the ones who matter, after all), but-- when it comes to sexuality-- in opposite ways.

Women MUST be attracted to men. Aside from the female gender-role dictating that our entire existence revolves around men, this is something that men (as our superiors) are entitled to. Attraction to women, therefore, is merely incidental; we aren't fulfilling any obligations with that. (And since no penis is present, whatever we do with each other doesn't even count as sex anyway.)

What this all adds up to is: bi women = straight.

The male gender-role also requires opposite-sex attraction. But, for men, "straight" is defined less as a matter of being attracted to women than of NOT being attracted to men. Women aren't entitled to men's love/desire (the way that men are entitled to women's); attraction to them matters mainly as proof that a man isn't gay. THAT'S the important thing. Why? Because male desire is perceived as an act of dominance; it puts the recipient in a subordinate, demeaned-- otherwise known as "female"-- role. So directing that at fellow men insults them, and wanting that FROM them is "humiliating". Taboo either way.

Therefore, if a man is male-attracted... he's gay. Because female attraction doesn't really even count. And bisexuality? No such thing, DUH!

Does this strike anyone else as the kind of dumbass "reasoning" behind the all-too-familiar "bi women = straight/bi men = gay" bullshit?