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[–]PeakingPeachEater[S] 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Here were my thoughts on the topic(copied & pasted):

He seems to be a MEBmale---Male exclusive bisexual male. It's the reverse of the common term seen---FEBfem(Female exclusive bisexual females).

He is attracted to both men and women, but purposely only(or mostly) seeks male relationships.

This article brings up interesting points in the bisexual community. Many STILL don't think bisexuality exists (like this bloke) and believe that they have to "choose a side" so to speak. I think as the B community, we need to focus on providing B specific resources.

Here's a couple of topics I posted previously:

1) " 'Bisexual' (men) is just a code for (insincere) gay man"

  • This shows the perspective of what bisexual men have to go through.

2) Should we take the "B" out of LGBT?

  • The YTuber talks about viewing the letters, L, G, B, and T more as a company or business(not individual), so when he mentions "LG" he means it as a brand and not people.

  • For the LGBT+™ he mentions that bisexuals are being erased and adopting the label "queer" and I believe he may have mentioned "pansexual", not sure if it's in his first or second video.

  • Lastly, he says we need to start making our OWN media/entertainment/etc. He mentions for example about there being no bisexual bars, WE are technically the majority in the LGBT™ but hardly make our own stuff and use the L & G's things.(Plus, I think it would be a nice way NOT to invade or intrude on either our lesbian friend's or gay friend's spaces that are for them---the TRAs are already giving them enough trouble).

3) Statistics: 8 Things you didn't know about the bisexual community

  • It's a bit of an older study, since 2014, but it mentions bisexuals are least like out of the LGBT to come out and a couple of other facts. I'll have to find and post a more updated one. The problem I ran into finding an updated statistic is that it lumped "queers" with bisexuals.

4) Among LGBT Americans, bisexuals stand out when it comes to identity, acceptance

  • More statistics taking about bisexuals hardly coming out about their sexual orientation.

Anywho, I do want to say the author's claim that "no one is born gay or straight, we're just 'human beings'" is ludicrous. You can't control being attracted to who you're attracted to. Not everyone is bisexual AND SEXUAL ORIENTATION IS NOT A CHOICE, that's just nonsense.

I'm sorry my lesbian sisters and gay brothers that you have idiots like him trying to claim he's something he is not.

I feel that as part of the B...we definitely have a shit ton of mess to fix and the TRAs are making it worse for us and I HATE that we get lumped in with them, it's depressing.

Edit: fixed link

[–][deleted] 5 insightful - 2 fun5 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 2 fun -  (1 child)

I already posted in that thread (as you've seen lol) but I wanted to go into more detail here. You always post such thought provoking things!

  1. This is a huge problem, and I talked about it briefly in the thread on drop the T. I think this mainly stems from the patriarchal view that dick is powerful enough to 'ruin' or 'turn' anyone it comes in contact with sexually. It's why people think bi men are 'just gay' and bi women are 'just straight'. Both circle back to the idea that if you're attracted to men, that's the ONLY type of attraction that carries any weight. Bi men get the worst of it because of how homophobic society is already.

  2. I don't think we should remove the B but I do think it's time we should start being more vocal the way L, G and T is. Not vocal in a rabid 'look at me' sense but vocal in an 'educating people where its appropriate, learning more of our history, and being unafraid to call ourselves bi' sort of way.

  3. Unsurprising that bisexuals are the least likely to come out.

  4. Interesting stats. I've seen the low numbers regarding bisexuals in long term same sex relationships get used against us more than once. It's just a numbers game. Most people are straight. Of course more bisexuals are going to be het paired. Yet people try to use this as a 'gotcha' so often and say apparently it's our fault and it means we aren't 'really' same sex attracted. Makes no sense honestly.

I have a lot of feelings about all of this. First of all it pisses me off when I see other bisexuals doing this. Because it only hurts us and gives people more excuses to shit on us when that's the last thing we need. However, I do understand that being bi is confusing for a lot of bisexuals. It was for me, and it still is sometimes, so on that front I do empathize with the author of the article. Still though, ultimately he's not doing himself any favors by trying to pass as gay to avoid being bi.

I know for me I had a lot of trouble figuring out I was bi because I rarely got celebrity or fictional character crushes on women. All of my crushes on women happened IRL, whereas my crushes on men were all over the place. It took me years to realize just because I lean more toward men that didn't mean I was straight. Maybe the author of the article feels similarly. Maybe he's more attracted to men than he is to women so he figures it's okay for him to call himself gay. But that creates problems when your partners ask about dating history. Not to mention how fucked up it is to lie about something so integral to your personhood.

How do I explain that I was honestly in love with a woman? Some people might argue that I am innately bisexual, with the capacity to love both women and men. But that doesn’t feel like an accurate description of my sexual history, either.

This sounds a lot like my confusion when I was figuring out my sexuality. I had crushes on women I knew personally, but a female celebrity never did it for me the way some male celebrities did. I'd been physically intimate with one woman, but I had never dated a woman long term. I felt like I could just call myself straight and that was accurate. After all, my attraction to men and women must manifest the exact same way on all accounts shouldn't it? That's what I thought at least.

The author mentions he was only ever in love with one woman. So 'bisexual' probably felt weird to him because he's not a 50/50 bi, but it's not about being equally attracted to men and women. As I got older I realized MOST bisexuals don't experience attraction 50/50. Most don't even have a completely 50/50 dating history. I realized I was trying to force myself to be straight for no reason.

I think this guy either doesn't think bisexuality is real, or doesn't realize you are still bi even if you have a strong preference for one sex over the other.

[–]PenseePansy 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

  1. This is a huge problem, and I talked about it briefly in the thread on drop the T. I think this mainly stems from the patriarchal view that dick is powerful enough to 'ruin' or 'turn' anyone it comes in contact with sexually. It's why people think bi men are 'just gay' and bi women are 'just straight'. Both circle back to the idea that if you're attracted to men, that's the ONLY type of attraction that carries any weight. Bi men get the worst of it because of how homophobic society is already.

Completely agree that this is a huge problem, but have a somewhat different theory as to what's behind it.

I'd say that attraction to men essentially cancels out attraction to women for both sexes because of the way that gender-roles work.

For the female and male gender-role alike, men are central (they're the ones who matter, after all), but-- when it comes to sexuality-- in opposite ways.

Women MUST be attracted to men. Aside from the female gender-role dictating that our entire existence revolves around men, this is something that men (as our superiors) are entitled to. Attraction to women, therefore, is merely incidental; we aren't fulfilling any obligations with that. (And since no penis is present, whatever we do with each other doesn't even count as sex anyway.)

What this all adds up to is: bi women = straight.

The male gender-role also requires opposite-sex attraction. But, for men, "straight" is defined less as a matter of being attracted to women than of NOT being attracted to men. Women aren't entitled to men's love/desire (the way that men are entitled to women's); attraction to them matters mainly as proof that a man isn't gay. THAT'S the important thing. Why? Because male desire is perceived as an act of dominance; it puts the recipient in a subordinate, demeaned-- otherwise known as "female"-- role. So directing that at fellow men insults them, and wanting that FROM them is "humiliating". Taboo either way.

Therefore, if a man is male-attracted... he's gay. Because female attraction doesn't really even count. And bisexuality? No such thing, DUH!

Does this strike anyone else as the kind of dumbass "reasoning" behind the all-too-familiar "bi women = straight/bi men = gay" bullshit?

[–]usehername 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

This thread really pissed off a lot of people and the trolls came out for this one, but I don't take issue with the title. It's not all bisexual people obviously, but bisexuals are the ones pushing the whole "sexuality is fluid" myth and the myth that monosexuals can be attracted to the sex they aren't attracted to if the person is trans. Too many bi people think their experience is universal. I think most people have this problem, but this is an issue that the "bi community" needs to tackle.