context: I'm male

Not currently with anyone, but in the past I didn't mention it. My female exes knowing I'm bi at all was enough for them to be on the lookout, so to speak, and it always felt like I was one wrong phrase away from "ah ha! Gay in denial!"

It's exhausting because I never really know what's going to grab my attention in my brain. Even once in a while I'll be chilling with friends I've known for years, and my brain goes "oh that was cute, what if..." and I just have to roll my eyes at myself and wait for the thought to finish. Then the opposite happens, like I'm with my partner and my brain just doesn't cooperate. I know this happens to everyone but it's annoying that there's the second layer, if that makes sense. And despite being very monogamous, it doesn't seem to alleviate the extra concern that seems to go along with it all.

On the other hand, sometimes it's a nice surprise when you get a little eye candy where you don't expect it, but in general I'm not looking and not interested in starting a new relationship so it's just a little pointless. It's nice when watching movies, but annoying in real life, I guess.