Men that are demanding that their wives submit to them have not learned the right way to win them

The command was not 'submit to your husband, after he's engaged in some amount of effort which meets your satisfaction'.

Men should not even have to demand this, certainly not of a Christian wife. It should be expected, including by her community. The idea that he can only get submission if he 'wins' her is a reversal of the roles.

Women have a duty to their husbands as well as their family, and this needs to be emphasized. And it's not 'Make sure your husband stays on the righteous and Christian path, according to your own judgment!'