My knee hurts and the wife is leaving me but fuck the mean old woman, how are you?

by [deleted] to /s/whatever from self.whatever

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[–]jingles 7 insightful - 5 fun7 insightful - 4 fun8 insightful - 5 fun -  (4 children)

dont worry about the bad knee, you have two of 'em..

hey, why dont i talk to her and see if i can patch things up for you, old buddy old pal.. you can trust me..

hey, shoot me a pic and an old pair of her panties.

let me know.

[–][deleted] 3 insightful - 2 fun3 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 2 fun -  (3 children)

Hey Edward

[–]jingles 4 insightful - 5 fun4 insightful - 4 fun5 insightful - 5 fun -  (2 children)

i figured that was you.. you are always having drama with your lady...

is she really leaving you?

i am really sorry to hear that.

a quick suggestion: even if you arent sure what you did, just tell her that you are sorry for doing it and that you will try to be a better husband or whatever to her.. tell her that you were drunk and you didnt mean what you said.. even if you werent.. plead with her.. again, the ladies need to feel needed.

if that fails, maybe suggest to her that she could always leave tomorrow or the next day and that maybe she could just give it a day and take it slow.

and hey, tell her that you love her.

that always gets em.

if that doesnt work, drink a gallon of oven cleaner and tell her that if you cant live with her that you dont want to live at all. do that while you shove a toilet plunger up your ass.

let me know how it works out.

hey, i am just tryna help a friend..

edward.

[–][deleted] 1 insightful - 3 fun1 insightful - 2 fun2 insightful - 3 fun -  (1 child)

You're going to look so good in your limo.

[–]jingles 2 insightful - 2 fun2 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

yeah, i wouldnt hold your breath, but i am still working on it.

thanks for the kind words.

[–][deleted] 3 insightful - 2 fun3 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

Dump that wanton worthless wench and get on with your life.

[–]ID10T 3 insightful - 2 fun3 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

You can always celebrate your wife is moving out with a nice smoky scotch, like this legend https://youtu.be/ouGLEtapOX8

[–]jet199 3 insightful - 2 fun3 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 2 fun -  (2 children)

Did she beat you up again?

[–][deleted] 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

She was about to, body checked me and I said whoaaaa woman, last time you did that shit you knocked me into the cat tower and discolcated my rib, don't you be doing that shit nibba.

[–][deleted] 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I gotta go Jet. I always kinda had a crush on you. Be well.

[–]iamonlyoneman 2 insightful - 2 fun2 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

Pain Free by Pete Egoscue for the knee. Men are From Mars, Women are From Venus for the marriage.

[–]In-the-clouds 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I'm sorry for your pain, and I pray you are reconciled to your wife and have peace with her.

[–][deleted] 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

You're the sauce boss, you will land on your feet whichever way it goes. I'd eat sushi with you any time.

[–]IndianaJones 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I'm just glad you're okay. Good to have you back!

[–]LarrySwinger2 1 insightful - 2 fun1 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

What happened mang